Positive things to take from a break-up, you say? I don’t think so! What good can possibly come out of a break-up? Well, I didn’t think anything could – but time and perspective will soon make you think differently. Let’s be honest – everyone knows break-ups are just horrible, whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee. But, as with everything in life, it’s always possible to look for the positives, or at least the lessons you’ve learnt. So, here are seven positive things you should take from a break-up.
You might not see your freedom as one of the positive things to take from a break-up at first, especially if you didn’t really want to be free. But try to think of it at first as a weight off your mind – no more worrying about the other person, no obligations or responsibilities! Then, as time goes on, think about how much fun you can have; more time to spend with friends, dating, meeting new people – it’s like a whole new lease on life!
2. BE REALISTIC
You may be feeling really down in the dumps since your relationship ended, but have you really thought about why it ended? And I don’t just mean blaming yourself and thinking of all the things you wished you did. Simply put, if your relationship had really been as good as you maybe thought it was, then it wouldn’t have ended. As time heals, you’ll become more and more aware of the problems you may not even have realised were there.
3. DON’T FEEL GUILTY
This is just for those who had to take the sorry role of the dumper – people normally assume that, if you’re the one doing the breaking up, it’s easy. But it definitely isn’t; you’re fully aware that you’re going to be hurting a person you once loved, and most likely still care about, and that’s awful. But there’s no point berating yourself for it – relationships break down, people fall out of love, that’s life. Carrying on a relationship you don’t want to be in is more hurtful than breaking it off – for both of you.
I know it’s always friends first, your girls before your guy etc ., etc., but let’s be honest – when you have a boyfriend, you probably don’t see your friends as much, simply because you have to split your time between them and another person. But it’s after a break-up that you realise how lucky you are. After my break-up, I realised I really do have wonderful friends, and I’ve had so much fun with them since – and am always looking forward to more!
5. FRIENDS with an EX?
Some people may say that you can never be friends with an ex – but just because you’re breaking up, it doesn’t mean you have to lose that person from your life forever. If you didn’t want the relationship to end, it’s not a good idea to be friends straightaway. But, in time, once you’ve moved on, perhaps you can still have that person in your life – just in a different way.
6. DON’T BLAME YOURSELF
As I mentioned before, we have a tendency to blame the end of our relationships entirely on ourselves and the things we did wrong, at least at first. But, as the saying goes, it takes two to tango; and I’m pretty certain your partner wasn’t perfect. Take the time out to think about what you really want from a relationship, and the kind of person you want to be with. Then, next time you consider making a commitment, you can be sure it’s what you want.
This is the most important thing to take away from a break-up. Think of everything you’ve learnt during the course of your relationship. When I look back, I know there are things I would change about the way I acted – but now I know, I won’t be repeating the same mistakes in future relationships. See each break-up as a lesson taught, (suffered) and eventually learnt.
Break-ups are one of the least pleasant life experiences we go through. No matter what you read, or what people tell you, when it happens, it’s still going to feel rubbish. But remember you aren’t alone; you were happy before and you’ll be happy again. What are your tips for getting over a break-up?