Post-Breakup healing can be one of the hardest things to do when all you want to do is lay in bed and sob. Committing to the healing process, however, is one of the most important parts of moving on. Trust me, I've been there. So throw those covers off and follow this post-breakup healing plan to get you through that first week.
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Day One: Cry
Just get it all out. Cry and cry until you've given yourself a headache and all your tears have run dry. You can't commit to post-breakup healing if you've got all of that welled up inside. So grab a box of tissues, wail if you have to, take off work and spend the day being sad. Tomorrow, you've got work to do.
Feeling each emotion fully is essential in starting the healing process after a breakup. It might seem like a setback, but letting yourself feel the depths of your sadness is actually a step forward. If you attempt to mask your pain with a brave face, you're only delaying the inevitable. So don't be afraid to be vulnerable. This intense release sets the stage for true recovery. As you sob into your pillow, remember it's not a sign of weakness—it's a clear signal to your heart that it's time to cleanse and begin anew.
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Day Two: Start a Breakup Journal
Writing is one of the most cathartic post-breakup healing activities. Journal your broken heart, starting with day two, until you feel better. It may be day 8, it may be day 108 but keep writing, every day until you feel like you don't need to write anymore. No one is going to read this journal, so feel free to be as grammatically incorrect as need be and curse as much as you want. Write down what you are feeling that day, how it is different from yesterday, how you hope to feel tomorrow and whatever else comes to mind.
Writing in a journal offers a private space for reflection and emotional release. Deep dive into your feelings and reactions, and track your progress. Some entries might be rants, while others could be fond memories or expressions of hope and self-encouragement. Notice the patterns in your healing and confront recurring thoughts. Writing not only captures the rawness of your emotions but also provides a tangible way to measure how far you've come when looking back on earlier entries. It's a safe haven for your emotional ups and downs, a companion through your journey of self-discovery post-breakup.
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Day Three: Make a List
By now, your brain is starting to play tricks on you and you are beginning to selectively remember all of the good times while conveniently omitting that time he stood you up for your anniversary. Think back to the first time he did you wrong and write it down, then write down everything little thing he's done since then to make you angry. List all of the things he did that annoy you and all of the times he forgot to call. Think hard about this one until you have a list at least one page long. Refer to this list every morning and every night and especially when you have an urge to dial his number.
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Day Four: Start a New Hobby
Yoga is a great post-breakup healing activity, but if you're not the down-dog type, start knitting or learning Spanish. There is inevitably something that you have put off doing in order to have more time to spend with him or obsessing over him. So start a new hobby that's just for you, it's amazing how much better you can feel just by busying your hands and mind.
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Day 5: Pamper Yourself
Plan a detoxifying day at the spa. Get a manicure, pedicure, massage and anything else that makes you feel worthwhile or beautiful. If your checkbook is shaking its head as you read this, plan a spa day at home. Soak in an oatmeal bath and indulge in a DIY facial. It doesn't matter if you are a a top of the line spa or in your own bathroom, you've been through a lot. It's time to pamper yourself.
Taking time to nurture yourself is key to healing. After acknowledging your worth at the spa or creating your sanctuary, extend the care with some self-love affirmations or soothing music. Wrap yourself in a luxuriously soft bathrobe and savor a cup of herbal tea, letting the warmth seep into your soul. Light some scented candles and let their glow bathe you in serenity. This day is a hug you give to yourself—a reminder that you deserve moments of bliss. Rest assured, the investment in your well-being pays dividends in inner peace and strength.
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Silence at the proper season is wisdom, and better than any speech.
Day 6: Schedule Your Sad Times
Five days have passed and you have started a journal, started working out and spent $400 at the spa. And you're still sad. It's okay! No one said this was going to be easy. These are steps toward post-break up healing, not a magical cure. Let yourself obsess or cry occasionally, but put a time limit on it. You can have 15 minutes to be sad and bemoan your single existence. Now get back up; you can have 15 more minutes tomorrow.
Setting aside scheduled time to be with your emotions is crucial. It's about control and acknowledgment. During this scheduled sadness, let the feelings flow. If tears come, allow them. If anger bubbles, let it out safely. Then when your time is up, indulge in a beloved book or call a supportive friend. This compartmentalization helps reinforce the boundaries you're setting with your grief. It won’t rule your day, but it’s given the respect and space to exist. Over time, you’ll find these minutes less necessary, and your control over the sadness growing stronger.
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Day 7: Go on a No-Contact Diet
You've probably thought about texting him a lot. You may have even done it once or twice. Maybe you called and hung up after the first ring. You're not perfect, but it's impossible to move if you are still in contact with him. Delete him from your social networks, and erase his number from your phone. Better yet, change the name to DO NOT CALL UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. If you've done well so far avoiding reaching out to your ex, you only have 21 days to go. If you've slipped up, start over. After 30 days you'll feel so much better you won't want to call.
The pain of a breakup can seem all-consuming, but I promise you it will eventually fade. Taking steps to heal will help that happen more quickly. Did any of these steps or similar activities help you get through your last breakup? Please share! You could be helping someone move on!
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