17 Questions You Need Answered before You Move in with Your Man ...

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17 Questions You Need Answered before You Move in with Your Man ...

So exciting! You can’t wait to get packing. Moving in with your boyfriend is an amazing step in your relationship but don’t get caught up in the moment. Slow down and breathe because there are a few things to consider before you cross the threshold. You might need a notepad to answer the questions but they need to be asked.

1 The L-Word?

Have you even told each other that you love each other yet? If not, then moving in together feels like a hasty step.

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Expressing love goes far beyond the three little words "I love you"; it’s shown in our actions every day. But verbal affirmation is equally important. It’s a declaration that you’re on the same emotional page. Without acknowledging this deep connection, it might be premature to start merging your lives under one roof. Think of it as a foundational block of your relationship. If it’s missing, ask yourself if you're ready to tackle the daily realities of shared living. Love is key, and saying it out loud reinforces that you’re both emotionally invested enough for such a big step.

Frequently asked questions

2 Will It Last?

Before you make a big life decision, sit down and really consider if you think this relationship is going to be the one that lasts forever.

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Take a good look at your partnership's foundation—is it built on trust, mutual respect, and understanding, or are there lingering doubts and unresolved issues? Reflect on past conflicts and how you both managed to resolve them; this is often a telling sign of the relationship's durability. Remember, cohabiting is not just a trial run; it's a commitment that should be based on more than just convenience or the desire to save on rent. Consider whether the love you share has the depth and strength to withstand the everyday realities of sharing a life.

3 Is It Right for Me and Us?

How much of a change will it be? It makes sense to cut some costs and move in together if you are staying at his apartment every night anyway!

4 How do You End Arguments?

Are you good at putting a fight behind you? That is essential if you are living together and cannot necessarily take a few days off from each other.

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Once an argument unfolds, it’s crucial to practice active listening and empathy. Be the bigger person and suggest a time-out if tempers flare. Discussing the issue calmly after cooling off can prevent hurtful words you might regret. Acknowledge both perspectives, and find a middle ground. Forgiveness and letting go are paramount – you don’t want to sleep on a bed of grudges, do you? Remember, communication is the bedrock of any harmonious relationship; always aim to clear the air with honesty, love, and a touch of understanding. After all, teamwork makes the dream work!

5 Are the Financials Good?

Are you both in the position to be able to pay your half of the rent every month? You don’t want to have to be the sole provider.

6 Do You Fight on Trips?

Do you tend to get on each other’s nerves if you have to spend a long amount of time together? This might not be an ideal living situation!

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Traveling can serve as a mini-test drive for cohabitation. Unexpected delays, cramped quarters, and navigating new environments amplify stress levels, potentially bringing out the worst in both of you. Pay attention to how you both handle these situations. Is there compromise and patience, or does every hiccup lead to a squabble? Consider your synergy during these trials as a preview to daily life together. If you're perpetually butting heads while away, living together might be challenging. However, if you can laugh off the misadventures and support each other, it bodes well for a harmonious home.

7 Seeing You at Your Worst?

Are you comfortable with letting your boyfriend see you at your very worst? Up until this point you might still have been making a constant effort to look your best when you are together.

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Moving in together means there's no more hiding behind closed doors or putting on your best face every single day. It's about being real, raw, and sometimes, a bit messy. Are you okay with him being around for the flu episodes, the bad hair days, and the emotional meltdowns? If you can embrace your vulnerabilities and feel secure that he'll still look at you with the same loving eyes, that's a sign of a strong bond. But if the thought of letting him in during those less-than-perfect times makes you squirm, it might warrant a deeper conversation.

8 Vice Versa?

And that goes in the other direction too. Living with a guy can open your eyes to lots of gross stuff. Are you ready to see all of that!?

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Living with your man might reveal his less-than-charming habits. Are you prepared to find his beard trimmings in the sink, or to navigate a bathroom that looks like a laundry bomb exploded? It's not just about tolerating these quirks, but also about being able to discuss them without starting World War III. After all, cohabitation requires compromise and communication. Think about how you'll address the messy revelations and whether you're willing to accept the man behind the mess.

9 Is There a Pet Situation?

What is your pert situation like? Do you have a cat that he hates? Does he have a dog that you don’t want to live with? This is all important stuff.

10 Compatible Eating Habits?

Do you like to eat healthy while he loves nothing more than to order in pizza every night? That could lead to arguments again and again.

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Food isn't just about nourishment; it's often about our values and lifestyle choices, too. If your culinary preferences are worlds apart, finding a middle ground can be tricky. Think about the weekly grocery list—will you be doubling up because your eating habits don’t align? Discuss how you might share meals, if at all, and whether your different tastes in food could become a source of frustration, or perhaps, an exciting adventure in culinary compromise. Remember, it's not just about tolerating each other's preferences, but embracing and respecting them as part of your shared life.

11 Is He Tidy?

Are you a neat freak? Is it going to be a problem if your boyfriend doesn’t respect the shared living space as much as you do?

12 Do You like His Friends?

If you don’t like his friends or how he acts when he around them, it is going to be much harder to avoid them when you are living together and he invites them round for an evening.

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When contemplating the next step with your guy, remember that his friends are a reflection of aspects of his personality. If his buddies rub you the wrong way, think about the reasons why. Are they mere annoyances, or do they bring out traits in him that you're uncomfortable with? Living together means blending your social circles, and if there's friction now, it may only intensify. Communication is key – discuss your feelings honestly and see how he reacts. It's important for both of you to feel at ease with each other's social network as it could play a significant role in your shared life.

13 Do You Have an Existing Issue?

Making the decision to move in together isn’t going to magically fix a relationship problem that you are having. You have to address that first.

14 Will He Respect Your Space?

We have addressed tidiness, but will he be respectful in the sense of letting you have your own space in the house/apartment? Will you do the same back?

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Personal space goes beyond having a separate drawer for your socks. It's about respecting boundaries and understanding that sometimes you need time alone to decompress or engage in personal hobbies. Communication is key; make sure you can openly discuss and agree on when and how you'll each take time for yourselves. If he loves blasting music to unwind but you prefer silence for reading, finding a balance will be crucial. Be prepared to compromise, but not to the point where you feel like you're sacrificing your own comfort for the sake of the relationship.

15 Can You Rely on Him?

Can you rely on him not to treat this new chapter like moving back in to a college dorm? He needs to understand that this is a real home, not a permanent romantic vacation.

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Moving in with your significant other is a huge step in any relationship. It’s not just a matter of packing up and setting up shop in a new home. It’s about two people making a commitment to each other and to the relationship. Before you make the leap, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself and your partner.

One question to ask is: Can you rely on him? Moving in together is a big commitment and it’s important to know that your partner is taking it seriously. Are they treating it like a real home or are they treating it like a permanent romantic vacation? It’s important to make sure that your partner understands the gravity of the situation and is committed to making it work.

Another question to ask is: Are you both financially prepared for this move? Moving in together is a financial commitment and it’s important to make sure that both of you are prepared for the costs associated with it. This includes rent, utilities, groceries, and other household expenses. It’s important to make sure that both of you are on the same page when it comes to finances and that you both feel comfortable with the financial situation.

16 Possession Purge?

Are you both okay with getting rid of some of your stuff so that you don’t have an over-packed new home?

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Deciding what stays and what goes can be a real test of a relationship. But it's an essential step towards harmonious cohabitation. Don't approach it as a battle over possessions; think of it as creating a shared space that reflects both of your personalities. Set aside a day to sort through your belongings together. Keep it lighthearted—maybe even make it a date with a bottle of wine—so it feels less like a chore. And remember, compromise is key—it's not about winning, it's about building a home together.

17 Loss of Privacy?

Have you come to terms with that fact that you aren’t likely to have much privacy anymore now that you are permanently living with your boyfriend? And the same for him?

You can’t expect the answers to all of these to be positive. This is life, not a Disney movie. But, the answers will either tell you now is not the time for such a step, or highlight potential areas you’ll need to work on.

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