Before committing to a relationship, you should ask yourself some important questions. Even though you may really like this guy, or even love him, try to answer as honestly as you can. Otherwise, you might be settling for the wrong guy. When you think about these questions before committing to a relationship with him, you will have a good idea of whether or not you are truly compatible with each other.
Table of contents:
- authentic self
- just the way he is
- mutual views
- tough conversations
1 Authentic Self
Can you be your authentic self around him? Before committing to a relationship, honestly examine your behavior when you’re with your guy. Do you act differently around him than you do with your friends and family? If so, why is it difficult to show him your true self? If he is the right one for you, you should always feel comfortable sharing your inner thoughts and goals with your guy.
2 Just the Way He is
Do you love him the way he is right now, even if he never changes? If your guy never gets a better job, loses his love handles or drives a nicer car, will you be satisfied with him? If you can’t accept your boyfriend as he is right now, he may not be the right one for you. If you can’t truly accept him the way he is now, don’t beat yourself up or feel bad about it. At least you’re being honest with yourself, right? The right guy is probably still out there, waiting for you to find him.
3 Mutual Views
Do you share the same views on things like monogamy and marriage? Even if you're not thinking about marriage, why make a serious commitment to someone who feels differently about important relationship issues? If you’ve never talked to him about these topics, maybe it’s time to bring them up. Don’t scare him. Just find out if you are both on the same page when it comes to the big stuff.
4 Tough Conversations
Can you openly talk about sensitive topics with him, like money and sex? Are you are hesitant to bring up tough conversations with your guy? Maybe you’re afraid of his reaction or that it’ll start an argument. If so, he might not be the one for you. If you haven’t discussed a serious topic with him yet, test the waters to find out how he reacts.
Do you trust him, even when you’re not together? It’s human nature to get a little jealous sometimes. However, if you constantly worry about what he’s doing when you’re not around or you get jealous every time he talks to another girl, that’s not healthy for either of you. If you really think he’s untrustworthy, why settle for him? On the other hand, if you’re creating reasons to become jealous, that’s a problem only you can resolve.
How do you handle conflict? If there’s a problem, can you talk about it in a civil way? Occasional arguments are normal, but they shouldn’t include hateful remarks that either of you will regret later. Do either of you purposely push the other one’s buttons during an argument? If problems usually end up causing full-blown fights, think long and hard before committing to a relationship with him.
Do you compromise any of your values when you’re with him? If your guy does things that are not in line with your values or morals, he’s probably not a good candidate for a long-term relationship. When you’re together, do you feel pressured to do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do? If so, do you participate because you’re afraid to disappoint him? Trust me, in the long run, you’ll be much happier if you find a boyfriend who shares your same core values.
These are the major questions I ask myself before committing. For you, what is the most important question to ask before committing to a serious relationship?
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