Splitting up is a big step in a relationship that might end things for good with no going back, which is why it is important to ask yourself a few questions before considering a break up. Just the fact that you are reading this post means that not everything is going smoothly between you and your other half. You may have been going through a rough patch for a while now or this may be something new your relationship hasn’t faced in the past. However, if you are confused about your feelings, here are 7 questions to ask yourself when considering a break up.
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Do You Love Him?
Relationships are based on love and affection, and if none of that exists then what is the point? You might be thinking, ‘Of course I love him! We have been through so much.’ Ask yourself, is that love? You might have been in love with him in the past, but is that how you feel now? Sometimes we get so used to having the person next to you that we mistake that feeling for love. So are you in love with him or just with the idea of him? Ask this yourself before considering a break up.
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Do the Cons Outweigh the Pros?
If your relationship doesn’t make you happy in the end and only causes heartache, there is no reason why you should still be involved in it. Don’t tie yourself down to a person who only brings out the worst in you. Both of you might be standing in each other’s way of living a happy life. However, you have to realize that no relationship is perfect and there will always be periods of misunderstandings. So if that is the case, this too shall pass!
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Can He Give You Everything That You Want?
Sometimes you stay in a relationship in the hope that he will change and give you everything you need with time. However, you have to realize that as much as you try, it is more than likely that he will never change. He has been in the habit of being himself for most of his life and it is just impossible to ask him to alter his habits in a span of a few days. So if you find that he can’t give you what you want the most, maybe he is not the one for you.
It is essential to distinguish between compromises and core needs. If what you desire lies at the very heart of your well-being and happiness, such as alignment on life goals, emotional support, or shared values, then these aspects should not be sacrificed. Remember, no amount of love can fill the void where these fundamental needs reside. Reflect on whether you're holding onto a relationship out of comfort or a genuine belief in its potential. Honest self-reflection is key to understanding whether your paths align or if you're delaying the inevitable.
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Have I Given It My Best Shot?
Let’s be honest, very few relationships work out with no effort. Most of the time it requires a lot of talking and compromise to make each person happy. Therefore, if you are currently having problems with your man, ask yourself if you have tried your best. Have you thought everything through from every angle? Is there a way to work things out? Are you being stubborn and acting on pure emotion?
Reflect on whether you've reached out for help or advice – sometimes an outside perspective or counseling can be invaluable. Are you willing to try couple's therapy? Think about whether there's been a fair share of giving and taking, and consider if your expectations are realistic. It's vital to evaluate if you've genuinely invested in resolution or if, possibly out of fear or uncertainty, you've held back from fully engaging in the process. Compromise and patience are key, so ensure you've exhausted these avenues before making a final decision.
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Is Anyone Influencing Your Decision?
As much as we try to deny it, the opinion of other people around us plays big role on how we think and what we believe. While some people may want to give you their best advice, they might reel you in the wrong direction, implanting the idea of a break up into your brain. So if the initial thought of a split didn’t purely come from you, don’t let other opinions get in your way. As much as others try to meddle in your relationship, everything should stay between you and your romantic partner. You have a good head on your shoulders so trust your feelings.
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If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence.
How Much Will the Split Affect You?
Before making any hasty decisions, imagine your life without that person in it. Will you be able to move on and be okay with seeing him date other people? Will you be happier? If the answer is yes, don’t let the history and feelings stop you, but if the answer is no then try to work out your relationship. If you can’t imagine your future without him, this rough patch should not stand in your way.
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Have You Properly Explained Your Position?
Miscommunication is one of the main root reasons for fights and arguments, which is why it is important to make sure the other person understands your position. Instead of initiating a break up out of the blue, tell your other half about your concerns, needs and desires. This may not only improve the state of your relationship but fix the problem altogether!
If your relationship hasn’t been in the best shape, hopefully these questions helped you realize whether the spark is no longer there or if it’s just another hurdle you have to jump over. Ultimately the decision is up to you and you should do everything that feels right. What are some other questions you would ask yourself before considering a break up?
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