There are lots of very good reasons not to get back together with your ex. It may be tempting to rekindle a romance - after all, he is someone you loved. But you have to ask yourself why a failed relationship would work the second time round. Often it would be a mistake. Here are some sound reasons not to get back together with your ex …
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. Weak Moment
One of the most important reasons not to get back together with your ex is if you're doing so in a moment of weakness. Perhaps you're experiencing doubts as to whether you did the right thing in ending the relationship, or you're scared about being apart from someone you've known a long time. It's better to give yourself time, so that you can view the situation more objectively.
2. Bad Treatment
Don't even think about going back to someone who didn't treat you well. This doesn't just mean being physically abusive. Mental abuse is equally as unacceptable as physical abuse, and you shouldn't be with someone who tried to control you. If he used you as a meal ticket, put you down, or wouldn't allow you to see your friends, then you're well shot of him.
Frequently asked questions
3. Feeling Sorry for Him
Another bad reason to get back with your ex is that you feel sorry for them. Men can be just as needy as women, and may play on your sympathy in an attempt to rekindle the romance. Don't fall for this. Even if he's not trying to manipulate you, it's not a good basis for a relationship - especially not one that's already failed. And it will only make you both miserable.
4. Afraid to Be Single
Or, any relationship is better than none. Too many people stay in a relationship because they are afraid of going it alone. When you've been with someone a long time, facing life without them can be very daunting. Don't let this push you into resuming the relationship. It ended for a reason. Being alone can be a challenge, but you will cope.
5. Desperate for a Family
Do you think that time is running out for you to have a family? Don't use this to convince yourself that you should get back with your ex. You, your ex, and your future children all deserve better than making do. Try to start a family for this reason and you'll very likely end up a single mother. Be open to meeting someone new, and you may meet a great person to have kids with.
6. He's Got Prospects
Sure, this is great if you really love the guy, but it's a poor reason to get back with him. This isn't the 1950s any more; women are perfectly capable of making their own way. He might have a great career ahead of him, but can you face waking up next to him for the next 50 years?
7. He's Pushing You
Some people push and push you to start again. This may be, as I've mentioned above, because he can't face life without you. But some men also find it impossible to let go if you're the one who's ended the relationship. Their ego can't accept that you want to be without them. Don't let someone pressure you to go back to them; you've made your decision.
Sometimes a relationship can work the second time round, if you split up because of distance, for example. Mostly it's not worth considering. Nobody likes going through a break up, but we do survive and come out intact. Have you ever got back with an ex, and what was the outcome?
Comments
Kat0428: If it didn't work out the first time why would it work out again
Stephanie: This is perfect. Lord knows its hard not to backslide into a failed relationship.
Brianna: In* I sound like I'm mental in this cause I'm multitasking haha.
Alison: My ex for the third time has just got us to the point where we are talking about getting back together and I blink and he's with someone else. Only last night he was texting and wanting to come for dinner or take me out as friends. I would put money on the fact his new girlfriend doesn't know!
chantel: Good to hear that you can live you id so that we talk on it
Samantha: This is perfect! Especially with what I'm going through right now after being with someone for four years. We cling to people because we hate feeling alone rather than learning that yourself is enough sometimes.
Kalin: I broke up with my ex because my mom didn't like him (she never really gave him a chance) anyway we are still in love with each other after 4 years of not being together and he's only dated 1 girl that whole time same for me..I'm beginning to think we are meant to be:)
Ebangha: Thanks you.!
Denmarie: 2 years ago I broke up with my boyfriend for no reason other than I had never been in love before and when I started falling for him I got scared and thought that I had to break up with him before we got too serious ... For 2 years I dated other guys trying to find him but I never went on second dates or ever gave someone else a real chance .... When the lightbulb went off I worked up the bravery to find his number and give him a call to apologize for the way I had hurt him (he remained single for the two years) and asked him if he would give us a second chance .... He told me that he had noticed that he loved me right when I broke up with him even though the words had remained unspoken... We've been together for some time now and have never been happier I'm not scared of being in love and neither is he this time around we are 100x closer and so much more mature and grown up .... Sometimes getting back with your ex is the worst idea ... But there are those rare exceptions where it is actually the best thing for your happiness .... Sorry for the extremely long post lol
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge