Guys can be excellent salesmen, to enchant you to like them, love them, and date them, but there are obvious reasons not to give him a chance no matter how hard he tries to impress you. Not to say that all guys are out to break your heart, but if you notice any of the following things, see them as clear reasons not to give him a chance.
1. He Compares You to His Ex
One of the biggest reasons not to give him a chance is if the guy you’re either dating or crushing on compares you to his ex. You're a beautiful strong woman who needs to feel proud living in her own skin! Don’t ever let a guy make you feel like #2. You will know pretty quickly where he stands with feelings for you because if he always brings her up or says things like, “you have a cute smile just like Jamie” then run the other direction! Give him time and space to first get over his ex.
2. He 's Rude to Your Friends
Sure, everyone has good days and bad days, but when a guy you’re dating or crushing on is meeting your friends or hanging out with you and your friends, he should always put a smile on and at the very least just be kind. He doesn’t have to be BEST FRIENDS with your friends, but treating them with respect is huge. A guy I was crushing on was so rude to my two friends that the crush was immediately OVER.
3. Brings out the Worst in You
Do you feel like you’re always on the verge of tears? Do you feel like you need to walk on eggshells being around him? If the answer is yes to even one of those questions, then he's bringing out the worst in you. A guy who should be given a chance is one who respects you and brings out the best in you. You should feel a sense of wholeness and completeness if you’re with the right guy.
4. He’s Too Conceited
Self-confidence is a very attractive quality in both guys and girls. But being overly cocky and conceited is a huge turn off, right? If you’re starting to see signs that he takes things way too seriously, has a big head, and constantly feels like he's rubbing his pride in everyone’s face, you may want to reconsider dating him or pursuing him as a boyfriend. Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know…but I really wouldn’t want to be with someone who is over-the-top conceited.
5. He Gives You False Hopes He’ll Change
If you’re in a relationship right now or dating someone who either makes you feel like you need to change or who you are desperately trying to change, your relationship is not healthy. Harsh, but true. Some guys will lead you on to believe that they WILL change because they claim to love you or want to be your ideal mate. But the truth is, actions speak louder than words. If he seems to be saying one thing and doing another, chances are he is giving you false hopes of changing. At the end of the day, though, you shouldn’t be with someone in hopes of changing them.
6. You Feel like a Booty Call
Does he only call you past 8 p.m.? Do you only stay in his room/your room when you’re spending time together? Do you feel the only great thing about your relationship is when you’re physical? If the answer is yes to these questions, then you may be a booty call. A guy who makes you feel like a booty call is certainly not worth giving a chance because you are just another number to him. You are worth more than just getting together with someone to be used!
7. He Doesn’t Have a Direction
This one is a bit harsh but again needs to be addressed. If you’re noticing that your boyfriend or crush just doesn’t seem to know what he wants for himself or wants out of life, he’s probably not worth pursuing. I have a friend who dated someone for 7 years and he kept saying “I’ll go get my degree soon enough” and “I’ll eventually find the right jot” and she kept hoping for the best. Ultimately, though, he was just not a serious person and didn’t have a direction and you cannot hope for a future with someone who doesn’t have a direction.
8. You Don’t Share Beliefs
This is a biggie. I will tell you right now that I met someone when I studied abroad who showed signs very early that he did not believe the same things I believed in and I deliberately chose to ignore the signs and I continued to give him a chance. We were together for a few months and although he’s gorgeous and really sweet, we just didn’t see eye-to-eye and it always got in the way. If you’re really strong in your beliefs, do not give a guy the chance of changing to your beliefs because it may never happen.
9. His Personality Rubs You the Wrong Way
If none of these reasons gave you a reason to not give him a chance, I hope this one will open your eyes. If you are dating or seeing someone who just downright annoys you then just stop talking to him. Don’t remain hopeful or in love with the idea of being in a relationship…it’s not worth it. If he doesn’t give you butterflies or make you feel cozy and warm inside, don’t give him a chance. I was dating this guy for a while who seemed PERFECT on paper but I didn’t feel chemistry with him. The spark never happened.
I’m not writing this to give you nightmares about dating guys and I’m not trying to discourage or say that all guys are not worth giving a chance. I’m saying be careful and know how you feel about someone before you give him a chance. I’m saying that you really need to know someone inside and out before you give yourself the full OK to open your emotions to him. What are your reasons not to give him a chance?