All Women's Talk

Fabulous Reasons to Let down Your Barriers ...

By Curtis

We all need some reasons to let your barriers down. I’ve been in relationships where my girlfriend (at the time) tells me, “I have trust issues” or “I don’t let people get close to me, even “I’ve never been in a serious relationship”. I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason why most women and men have some of these issues is they are afraid of having a good partner in their lives is because they don’t want to put their barrier down.

In my college days, I ran across an article called “The Power of Vulnerability” by Brene Brown. Brown in her TED talk says that people have a fear of being vulnerable because of the unknown. I believe the unknown is what to expect from the other person or in life. If you say “I love you” for the first time to your significant other, what would go through your mind? Maybe thoughts like “Does he love me as much as I love him?” Or, “Is he playing me?” I love this one, “How am I supposed to let him in my life?” All the questions are from opening up and allowing the unknown to be known. Letting the fear go and accepting what is coming into your world. The problem is if God blessed you with someone in your life and they are doing everything they can to be the person, why do you have your barrier up? The answer is, fear. That's one of the biggest reasons to let your barriers down.

Speaking from experience (and research), allowing yourself to remove the barrier is scary and hard, but the rewards are a blessing. Allowing yourself to become vulnerable, will boost up your courage to do the things you were once afraid of. Putting down your barrier will show people you can be trusted and you can be open to them. Having your barrier down and being vulnerable will free yourself from fear and anxiety. In my article “To The Women We Hurt”, I spoke of how I was afraid of a serious relationship. Had I been vulnerable and put down my barrier, I would have been married by now with two kids. But here I am, still looking for my prayers to be answered.

I do understand the downside of being vulnerable and having your barrier down. I do acknowledge the possible risk of doing such a thing. I know that people have legitimate reasons why people are defensive and hide behind their fortress. But I’m talking to the people who are ready to step from behind their barrier. I’m speaking to the people who want to accept their prayers of a good partner. I’m talking to the people who are ready for that serious relationship. For those who have legitimate reasons for not allowing yourself to be freed of your burdens, I have only this to say. Take it one day at a time. If you’re in a relationship, tell your partner the reason why you are not ready to take that next step. Inform them of who you are and the reason why. If your partner is real and true to you, they will understand and work with you. If not, kick them out of your world.

Dear readers, we have to let go of the past in order to see a brighter future. If you are wanting to put down your barriers, first think of all the possibilities that could transpire and accept them. Learn from your experience in order to be stronger, then you can pass on the message to your friends and your kids. Be strong and be brave.

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