There are reasons to travel with a guy before you marry him, even if you live together. Travel presents experiences and scenarios you don’t encounter at home during your regular life, and it is a wonderful opportunity to find out more about your guy and get answers to questions. And some of these questions may not even have occurred to you. Until you travel with your guy, you don’t know what he is like outside of his comfort zone. You may not know how he reacts to new situations, how he treats people who are different from him or how he reacts to uncomfortable scenarios. Traveling together could be the true test of how good your marriage will be. Here are the most relevant reasons to travel with a guy before you marry him.
Not only will you learn something about your guy, but undoubtedly something about yourself. Go someplace where neither one of you are surrounded by familiar food, people or culture. What this teaches you is how well you cope without your support network, how well you listen to and lean on each other and how well you accept the new challenges. All of these are important relationship skills and finding out if he’s got them is definitely one of the reasons to travel with a guy before you marry him.
Luckily, it can also bring out the best in some people! Now’s the time to find out. Couples tend to be a little more sensitive when traveling, perhaps due to stress or even excitement. Does he always seem want to choose where you eat and not give your desires much weight? Do you want to stick with a strict itinerary while he wants to explore more freely? Whether you are in tune with each other’s desires and needs, are good at give-and-take or simply see each other’s desires as silly and burdensome, it speaks volumes about your relationship.
What happens if the plane gets delayed, or the ski lift is closed? What happens if the hotel room isn't ready or the luggage gets lost? How does he react when he realizes he forgot his razor, the sunscreen or his swim trunks? Some people will go with the flow and wing it, and are quickly able to adjust their plans. Others will complain the entire way about everything that’s gone wrong and ruin the entire mood of the vacation. How your guy deals with pressure on a vacation will tell you how he’ll deal with the curveballs life throws at him.
Take your guy on a vacation with the family or to go stay with the family to see how he interacts with them. Depending on your family dynamic, this could go a number of ways. If all he does is badmouth your sister and talk bad about your uncle, those may be warning signs. However, he may gently affirm comments you made about the family without being nasty, like agreeing that Uncle Tom will fall asleep after 3 beers. If needed, can he pull himself (or you) away from the family drama, should it erupt? Can he laugh at the odd characters found in every family tree (even his own), or does he get defensive?
Imagine you’re in an exotic place in a nice hotel and a beach is within walking distance. Does he want to explore the markets, hike in the mountains and do some wind surfing? Or does he want to sip margaritas by the pool and head out to the beach every day? How does that compare to what you like to do? If you have compatible desires or are able to compromise, then you may have a lot of fun together. But if not, you may be doing a lot of things separately, or one might decide it’s better to give in than to fight. How you deal with these conflicts says a lot about how you’ll deal with other incompatibilities.
Are you both night owls or does he like to get up at the crack of dawn to meet the sunrise? Are you worn out at 9 PM and for him, the party is just starting? While incompatibility here isn’t usually a deal-breaker, it may make traveling challenging. Look for the desire for compromise.
Does he quibble over a dollar tip? Does he treat the wait staff with the same respect as his friends? Does he ask for things respectfully or does he expect people to be at his beck and call? Does he act like a prima donna? If your guy treats people serving him badly, he may lack the kind of empathy that’s crucial to long-lasting relationships.
It’s so easy to get caught up with the vacation that you forget to look at how your guy behaves, but travel really is a good way at getting some indications if he’s marriage material. Tell us what you feel about this. Did you travel with your guy before you got married? What new things about him did you learn?
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