7 Reasons Why Its Okay if You Havent Been in a Relationship Yet ...

7 Reasons Why Its Okay if You Havent Been in a Relationship Yet ...
By Ellie • Sep 5, 2025

I spent a lot of years thinking of all the reasons why I hadn't yet had a relationship, and I think worrying about why you haven’t been in a relationship yet is actually really common. A lot of the people I went to school with had been dating since they were 13. I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 18 - that's a significant difference, and a whole lot of time spent worrying. There can be so much pressure on you at school, from friends, other classmates, all the magazines and TV programmes where the women seem to date pretty much as soon as they've got their first training bra - but there are so many reasons why you shouldn't worry if you haven't been in a relationship yet.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Want more like this? Subscribe for personalized picks.

Successfully subscribed.

Check your inbox for personalized content.

1. Who Cares if Other People Are Doing It?

One of the main reasons people worry if they haven’t been in a relationship is because it can feel like everyone else is, was or got close to it. Looking back now, I realise that I was by no means the only person left at my school who hadn't had a boyfriend; I just worried about it often enough so that was how it felt. Try to get some perspective - there's absolutely no way you're the only one who isn't 'normal.' And those that do have relationships? Who cares? You don't have to do something just because it’s what other people are doing - TRUST ME.

2. Stop Worrying and Enjoy Yourself

Which brings me nicely to my next point. You have years and years of dating, relationships, even marriage ahead of you. Quite literally years - decades. So do you really want to rush past what will probably be the only time in your life when you don't have to worry about all that stuff? Sure, some of it might be fun; but what about the arguments, the worrying, the responsibility? Remember, what you see as an outsider are the good parts of a relationship - but there are definitely, definitely bad parts too.

3. An Unwelcome Distraction

When you're at high school, it's very difficult to imagine what your life will be like when you're older. I'm 21 and I still have no idea. But what I didn't realise at high school was how important actually working was. If you want to go away to college, move to the city, get your dream job - then you're going to have a million and one things to do, like homework, extra classes, sports, extra-curricular activities, plus spending time with your friends. Do you really need to add a relationship to that list? Maybe the reason you haven't had one is because at the moment, you have more important things to worry about.

4. Are You Ready?

There is no shame - none, absolutely no shame whatsoever - in admitting, even if it’s just to yourself, that you haven't had a relationship yet because you aren't ready for one. I wasn't - it was only when I had a boyfriend, years down the line, that I realised there was no way I would have been ready for one before. You may feel pressured to find a relationship by your peers, but a relationship brings a whole new kind of pressure- and it's not necessarily a better kind, either.

If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. It's Not Just Me

Remember that relationships and dating are about two people - not just you. Which means that guy you like? Or the girl you think is beautiful? Maybe it's not that they don't like you back - maybe they're the ones who, for whatever reason, just don't want that yet.

6. It's Scary Stuff

First kisses, first relationships, the first time you have sex - these are SCARY things. If you weren't scared, or worried, then you're going to be in the minority, not the other way around. It's totally, perfectly normal to be nervous about these things. When you've done them, you'll probably wonder what you were worried about. But until then, be scared, be nervous, but, most importantly, be ready!

7. Does It Mean I'm Not Attractive?

I can't stress this final point enough. If you haven't had a relationship yet, it does not, under any circumstances whatsoever, mean that you aren't attractive. I always felt like nobody would ever take an interest in me, but I was wrong, as it eventually turned out. And the same happens for everyone. Just give yourself a chance!

Despite all of the above, I'm sure you'll carry on worrying until you do find someone you can be happy with. But that's normal too - just try not to get too wrapped up thinking about it, and make the most of what you have now. When was your first relationship, or are you waiting for it?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Want more like this? Subscribe for personalized picks.

Successfully subscribed.

Check your inbox for personalized content.

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Sophie

    2014-11-21T19:31:50.864Z

    Thank you for this :) i feel so much better now. I'm only 16 and I have my whole life ahead of me and so much to learn. Thx so much :)
  • Alexis

    2013-05-07T20:23:40.000Z

    I'm 18 and still have not dated or kissed a guy. I have had some guys interested but none of them were right for me. I get lonely and sometimes even think that it might be me. Maybe I'm the problem, am I not pretty enough not good enough. But then I remember that God has a time for all of us even though it might not be on our time. So take heart girls! Your time will come.
  • Nestine

    2013-04-21T14:47:30.000Z

    Funny I was thinking about this yesterday aha 16 and still haven't had a boyfriend but I understand now I wouldn't have time for one anyway haaa
  • Rachel

    2013-05-23T06:41:40.000Z

    My bad again lol and if mr.
  • Maria

    2013-04-21T15:59:09.000Z

    Honestly this is extremely helpful, ha. I thought there was something wrong with me. I'm 16 and haven't had a boyfriend, been kissed, or anything but really, now that I think about it, I don't need more stress and it's not like I have the time so I guess it's good. Thanks!
  • Rita

    2013-04-22T05:02:38.000Z

    I've never had a boyfriend. Honestly, a lot of people approach me to tell me that if my personality was different then they would ask me out. At that point, I think how to change myself, then I think, that's my personality, that who I am. Why should I change for some guy.
  • Athena

    2013-04-22T00:27:00.000Z

    I love this article! I'm 18 and I've never had a boyfriend or anything like that. And I'm proud of it.
  • Rachel

    2013-05-23T06:40:39.000Z

    I'm 16 and ive been in a couple of relationships and gave away my first kiss to a complete loser. Im a still a virgin (unlike many girls my age) and let me tell yah even if you feel like you want a boyfreind so someone can hold ur hand and cuddle, its just going to turn out a big mess. Girls, we don't need to rush in a relationship enjoy being single because relationships are stressful (its hard to put someone first if ur trying to keep up with ur own life) and really who needs that kinda stress? Not us! So enjoy your freedom untill you are completely ready for a relationship and if me. Right comes along
  • Raney

    2013-04-21T18:30:28.000Z

    All my friends get invited to parties, and people are interested in them. And then there is me on the sideline. This made me feel a tad better, thanks.
Commenting as
Add allwomenstalk.com as a preferred source on Google to see more of our trusted coverage when you search.
Allwomenstalk app icon

Don't Miss the Latest Version

Get the latest stories, save favorites, and share with friends — all in one place.

New Earn badges & level up while you read

Create your profile. Earn badges. Level up your reading.

Join Allwomenstalk to track your streaks, collect badges, and earn XP for the things you already do—reading, sharing, and taking quizzes.

  • 🔥
    Daily streaks with gentle boosts for 3, 7, and 30 days.
  • 🏅
    Collect badges like Reader I–III, Socialite, and Quiz Ace.
  • ⚡️
    Earn XP for reads, deep reads, likes, comments, and shares.

It’s free. Takes 30 seconds. Already have an account? Sign in.

10,000+ badges earned last month

Level

3

Streak

7 🔥

XP420 / 700

Badges

🔥 On a Roll
📖 Reader I
📣 Socialite

Trending products

Other Cool Reads

Related Topics

why does everyone have different opinions walking in 5 inch heels reasons to not get a puppy real fur blanket everyone makes mistakes in life early 20s why should i forgive someone should kids be on social media is social media ruining society what does it mean to kiss and tell