Reasons Why Love Isnt Finding You like Youd Hope ...

By Allison

If you're looking for love and not having any luck whatsoever, you're most likely doing things that are keeping potential guys away. You might be giving off major negative vibes without even knowing it. These actions can be a direct result from your past heartbreak and trauma--you've put up your guard because you don't want to get hurt again. Here are the main reasons why love isn't finding you like you'd hope.

Table of contents:

  1. you can't let that impossible crush go
  2. waiting for the perfect soulmate
  3. you have a checklist
  4. you have extremely low self-esteem
  5. you keep f*ckboys around
  6. you're not communicating
  7. you're a hot mess

1 You Can't Let That Impossible Crush Go

Forbidden love is the hardest to let go. Maybe it's your best friend who is married, your boss, or your roommate. You spend so much time with them that you're constantly thinking about them, but the relationship would never work out. Let it go! These impossible crushes are holding you back from potential relationships. I'm telling you that it's time to cut the cord and move on.

2 Waiting for the Perfect Soulmate

Holding out for the right person seems sweet, but it's also kind of ridiculous. The idea that there is one person who has been waiting their entire life for you is possible, but more likely to come true in movies. Think of all of the people that you never even gave a chance because of this theory. THEY could have been your soulmate, but you let them go. Not many relationships are perfect from day one.

3 You Have a Checklist

If you walk around with a checklist of impossible qualities, it's a one in a million chance that you'll actually find a person meeting all of your standards. It's important to know what you want, but why turn a guy down that doesn't check every box? No one is perfect, and I can honestly say that love is not perfect. Throw that list away and keep an open mind.

4 You Have Extremely Low Self-esteem

If you don't feel brave enough, smart enough, or good enough, you're not alone. It makes me sick thinking about how many times I missed an opportunity just because of those negative thoughts in my mind. Is it worth it? Nope. If there's no risk, how can you gain?

5 You Keep F*ckboys around

You know who these guys are. You both use each other just for a good time. Meaningful and lasting relationships do not come from these sorts of guys, so why give them the time of day? You could be focusing your attention on a guy that you want to spend the rest of your life with, not just weekend nights, so take my advice: stop using hookups as a crutch.

6 You're Not Communicating

Guys aren't mind readers. If you want something specific, be specific. I promise that this will save you tons of time, anger, and frustration. So, you were thinking that he was going to plan a romantic date night, but you end up going through a drive thru. Totally not what you had in mind. Please stop bottling up your emotions and just talk. You'll be amazed at what happens when you speak up and voice your opinions.

7 You're a Hot Mess

I can say this from personal experience--problems tend to attract more problems. Whatever a hot mess means to you, take the time to sort things through and cool off that mess. This can mean a number of things, from finances, depression, or feeling like you don't have your life together. I write everything down so I can see what I want to accomplish on paper. Make a plan and take action.

Love comes when you're not even looking for it, and it can also come because you've hunted it down. Figure out what's holding you back, what you want, and go for it. Be open, keep doing you, and love will come.

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