Trying to remember all of the reasons to never go back to an ex can be hard. But, sometimes after a couple of cocktails or a particularly sad romantic movie, you find yourself sitting there wondering if could be different this time around? Well, press stop on that DVD and sit down, while I give you seven reasons to never go back to an ex.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. He Was a Cheater
That is by far one of the most important reasons to never go back to an ex. But, just in case you need some reinforcement, I’ll give you some more - once a cheater, always a cheater. Chances are he’s already moved onto another girl (or, two) and is cheating on her for all of the same reasons why he cheated on you. A cheating boyfriend will only become a cheating husband.
2. He Called You up and Misses You
Have you dated the ‘come around the bend’ guy? That charming lad who wines and dines you while you fall helplessly in love with him, only for him to leave you for a number of life pressing reasons? His job has become too demanding for a relationship, or he needs to get his life in order before entering a committed relationship with you. Here’s the thing - they’re all excuses. The ‘come around the bend’ guy tricks you so that you’ll go back to him — but only when it’s convenient for him.
***
If you’ve been in a relationship with a ‘come around the bend’ guy, you know how difficult it can be to move on. He may call you up and tell you he misses you, but don’t be fooled — he’s only trying to get you back when it’s convenient for him. He may promise that he’ll change and be the man you want him to be, but chances are he won’t.
It’s important to remember that if you go back to this type of guy, you’ll only be setting yourself up for more heartache. He may have a knack for making you feel special, but he’s not capable of giving you the kind of commitment and loyalty you need in a relationship. He may come around again, but he’ll eventually slip away again when it’s convenient for him.
Frequently asked questions
3. It’s Familiar
The older we get, the scarier it is to try something or someone new. Going back to the tried and true seems easier than going on a bunch of bad dates and bar hopping. No one likes dating, but it’s how you meet people, just like your ex. Resist the urge to go back to your old guy and try the unknown. Who knows? Maybe your ex will seem like the distant memory by the end of the night.
***
One of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to relationships is going back to their ex-boyfriend. It’s understandable to feel comfortable with someone you’ve been with before, but it’s important to remember why the relationship ended in the first place. Going back to an ex could be a sign that you’re not ready to move on and take a chance with someone new.
It’s familiar to go back to an ex, but it’s not always the best choice. If you’re feeling lonely or are having trouble meeting someone new, it’s best to try something else. Going to a bar, joining a dating site, or even just talking to friends can help you meet new people and get out of your comfort zone.
It’s also important to remember that your ex may not be the same person he was when you were together. People change over time, and your ex could have different attitudes, values, and goals than he did when you were together. If you go back to an ex, you could be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Finally, it’s important to remember that relationships are about more than just chemistry.
4. You Can’t Always Get What You Want…
But, you might just get what you need. Sometimes we want something (like an ex) but it’s important to remember all of the reasons why it didn’t work out before your daydream away. Make a list of reasons why it didn’t work out and be honest with yourself. Maybe it’s time to accept that it happened for the best.
5. The Break up Game
Do you love drama? Is The Bachelor your favorite show? Let me remind you, when you’re in a healthy relationship you generally want to stay in a healthy relationship. If you’re breaking up and getting back together every other week, it creates a false sense of passion. What you’re living off of isn’t the connection between you two, but rather the disconnection you like to make. Re-evaluate why you are in your relationship and whether it’s because you really want to be or if you only like the drama of it.
6. Your Friends and Family Don’t Approve
If you’re having a relationship where it’s you against the world, it isn’t romantic, it’s unrealistic. If you plan on spending the rest of your life or even a chunk of it with someone that your friends and family generally don’t like, expect to have a lot of two people parties. If you want to alienate yourself from your life, dating someone your friends and family don’t approve of is a perfect way to do it.
7. You’re Lonely
It’s easy to call up an ex and make it feel like the first time all over again. But, that feeling only lasts for the first time. That rush of adrenaline quickly fades and all of the reasons you didn’t work out the first time will come rushing back to you.
As tempting as it may seem to call up an ex and return to the love nest you once remember, take a long look at the why you broke up in the first place. Like the saying goes, never go back. Do you have a story of why you should never go back? Let me know!
Comments
Aayushi: Why going back? Dere waz a reason u left him!!!
Godzilla: Wish I had remembered these reasons a few months ago!
Anaya: My ex and I dated for 5 years. He began drinking is summer 2013 I tried to get him help but I began having bad dreams. And then I began second guessing myself about being a relationship with him. I didn't know where I stood or where he and I stood so I told him it's time for us to call it an end. I don't want a boyfriend that's going to treat me like his pet dog. Or a boyfriend that's going to flirt with other girls or someone I have to beg there attention for I don't want that. As of now I'm doing better just finished my sophomore of high school. My ex goes to the same HS as me but I just pretend that he doesn't exist. At least I finally know what I deserve in a relationship. I want a relationship where someone is on the same page as me or even close. Not someone who is immature and will cheat with me right behind my back. I'm a very beautiful young girl who doesn't ask for a lot as long as he is real with me I will be real with him.
Alice: So my boyfriend and I dated for almost 3 years, But he cheated on me last week with a girl I was very jealous of since day one. I'm very heart-broken right now, I haven't seen him since we broke up, and I'm doing great, but he's graduating with my brother in 2 weeks, and I'll have to go, but I don't want to, because I think it will hurt like bloody hell to see him there, probably with somebody else
Olivia: My ex and I got bak together 5 months ago... and we are doing great now! we both just grew up and matured a litte, so that is belong our relationship now:)
Melessa: I find other things to do with my time so I don't think off him at all cause god knows that was the worst relationship I ever been in but out of that disaster came my son.
YoungAndRestless: Guys, i need help. My ex currently is very much in lvoe with my so called "best friend" who despite insisting she's not flirting with him, flirted with him in front of all of our friends... like five minutes after he dumped me like a sack of potatoes. They both want to continue being friends with me and each other. Wtf do I do?!?!
Simone: I didn't do anything wrong and my boyfriend didn't so anything wrong, I think I just needed break and I was really stressed out about a lot of things in my life when I first broke up with him. And after I broke up with him I was miserable. Now we're back together and things seem great. I also got off my birth control after I dated him and feel so much better and I'm not being a bitch 24-7. What do you guys think? Is it a good idea that I'm back or not?
anon: all my ex's come back. this one 22 yrs ago emailed in 2023!, This last ex betrayed me the worse, and I am tempted, because he is amazing in spite of it. I took my time, shortly wrote a "no thank you" back to him email, 55 yr old...now..not a kid. It was a RUSH of beating heart, knowing how he thrill's me, but I STOPPED. I said " WAIT??? no. DON'T. I am seeing a really sweet friend/ benefit who treats me very sweet, is giver, and honest. its new, but he is a previous friend. even the bible says " do not be tempted"!!!
Ali: Love these. I think it's easy to fall back into a trap especially if you had a great time with the person. I think remembering that it was a negative relationship and that the person never changes (it's you that changes), are helpful. Also, if it's an on-again off again situation, it means that neither person was ready to commit (properly).
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge