I could list almost infinite reasons to not take back a cheater. Still, many people have no problems with infidelity. Personally, I don't think I could ever trust them again. If your partner's cheated on you, take a long hard look at these reasons to not take back your ex after cheating. While it works for some, being with a cheater is usually awkward and even painful.
1. The Relationship Will Never Be the Same
The moment you discover the infidelity, your relationship is forever changed. I think this is one of the biggest reasons why you shouldn't take back a cheater. The entire dynamic of the relationship changes drastically. You'll always be at least a little distrustful. Every time your partner looks at someone else, you'll wonder what they're thinking. Basically, you'll feel like there's a wall between the two of you.
2. They Won't Change
If a person cheats on you once, what's to stop them from doing it again? They make a promise, but can you really trust them? No matter what their excuse, if they cheated on you once, they'll find other reasons to do it again. Even if they blame it on you, it's their problem and not yours. After all, if they're not happy in the relationship, they could always break up with you instead of cheating.
3. You Deserve Better
Do you really deserve to be with someone who doesn't appreciate you enough not to cheat? You should never blame yourself if your partner has an affair. You deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you. You will find someone better. Some people stay because they don't want to be alone. Trust me, being single is better than being with a cheater.
4. They'll Never Respect You
Cheaters never respect their partners. If there aren't consequences, they feel like it's okay to walk all over you. Even if you yell at them and get upset, staying simply tells them it's okay to cheat. Leaving them proves you respect yourself. You shouldn't have to stay in a situation where your partner doesn't respect you or where you don't respect yourself.
5. Be a Role Model
Any time you stay with a cheater, you're teaching anyone who looks up to you that it's okay to be in a bad relationship. This is especially true if you have kids. Don't you want the people who see you as a role model to know that cheating is wrong? Show yourself and everyone else that cheating is right and that better is possible. You'll feel better about yourself and be happier.
6. Eliminate the Stress
No matter what your partner says or does, you'll always feel stressed whenever they're not right by your side. You'll wonder if they're really on a business trip or who they're with on their lunch break. Why wear yourself down with the constant stress? Dumping them eliminates the stress so you can get on with your life and find someone better.
7. They Don't Really Love You
No matter what people say about humans not being naturally monogamous, if someone truly loves you, they have no desire to cheat. I've heard all kinds of excuses about not getting enough attention or “it just happened.” The real reason is they don't care about you. Someone who cares about you and loves you doesn't want to hurt you.
8. They'll Continue to Lie
If someone's cheating, they're a liar. They went out of their to hide something major from you. If they're lying about cheating, what else are they lying about? Cheaters love to lie. Not only will you never be able to trust them again not to cheat, you won't be able to trust them about anything else. Lying definitely isn't the key to a successful relationship.
9. You'll Lose Friends and Family
If your friends and family find out about the infidelity, they'll probably encourage you to leave the person. When you don't, they may wonder what kind of person you are. At the very least, they won't want to be around your partner anymore because they don't like them. I've seen quite a few men and women lose friends because they refused to respect themselves and dump the cheater.
Both men and women cheat and it's not acceptable. The more people take them back, the more cheaters seem to think it's alright. There are great non-cheaters out there to be with and you deserve someone better than a backstabbing cheat. Would you ever take a cheater back and why?
Frequently Asked Questions
- Why should I never take back a cheater?
- Cheating breaks trust completely. Once it's broken, it's almost impossible to get it back. Plus, you deserve someone who respects and values you enough to stay faithful.
- Can a relationship really recover after cheating?
- Most of the time, no. Even if you try to move forward, the betrayal lingers in the back of your mind. It’s hard to rebuild when the foundation has cracks.
- Is it a sign of weakness if I don't give them a second chance?
- Absolutely not! In fact, it shows strength and self-respect. You're valuing yourself more than the person who didn't appreciate you.
- What if they promise they'll never cheat again?
- Promises can be empty, especially after they've already hurt you. Actions speak louder than words, and their past actions have shown they can't be trusted.
- Am I being harsh if I walk away after they cheated?
- Not at all. Walking away protects you and preserves your self-worth. You have every right to seek a relationship where you're valued and respected.