Making the decision to overlook faults in your partner is one you will be thankful that you made. It is not an easy decision. It is much easier to see the negative than the positive, especially when a certain fault really bothers you. But there are many advantages for you and your relationship when you choose to overlook faults in your partner.
1. What You Focus on Grows
What you focus on grows which is why you should choose to overlook faults in your partner. It really is true. If you choose to focus on all of the wonderful qualities that your partner has, you will find that you are feeling much more positive about them and even more in love. On the flip side, if you focus on all of their faults you probably will not feel positive about them much longer. You will begin seeing more and more faults and feeling more negative about your relationship.
2. You Have Faults Too
Another reason you should overlook faults in your partner is that you have them, too. It is wise to remember that you are not perfect. When I get aggravated with my husband, I remind myself of all the things he puts up with living with imperfect me. If I want him to extend grace to me, then I should do the same to him. Extending grace contributes to a happier relationship.
3. You Love Them
If you love your partner, that should be motivation to overlook their faults. You don’t want to hurt the person that you love the most. Of course, there are times when you have to confront your partner about issues but even then, you should do so lovingly. But for little everyday things like forgetting to turn the lights off when leaving a room or some other trivial thing, it is best to overlook it. Remember, true love is blind.
4. It is Healthier for Your Relationship
Picking at every little thing in each other is not good for your relationship. In fact, it can absolutely tear it to shreds. When you are tempted to fuss at your partner about a fault, ask yourself if it is worth the risk of damage to your relationship. Sometimes it will be. But other times mentioning it would be absolutely unnecessary.
5. It is Best to Pick Your Battles
You are obviously going to have confrontations when you are in a long term relationship with someone. But you don’t have to have them constantly. Decide which things are worth confronting and which are not. A good gauge to use is deciding if the fault is something trivial or maybe something that is a habit of your spouse. If it is, you would be wise to let it go. However, if it is something that is causing you hurt and issues between the two of you, it needs to be addressed.
6. Do Unto Others
A good philosophy to go by is to do unto others as you would like to them to do unto you. Maybe your partner is just having a bad day. We all have bad days. Try to focus on how willing they are to be understanding with you when you are having a bad day. Of course you should never put up with being mistreated but everyone can overlook some small things.
7. You Are Encouraging Good Behaviors
When you don’t focus on your partner’s faults and instead choose to focus on all of their positive traits, it will make them more likely to display them. After all, if we know someone thinks we are polite or kindhearted then we don’t want to disappoint them by not being that way, do we? We want to measure up to what someone’s expectations are of us. Make a choice to brag on your partner’s good behaviors instead of fussing about their bad ones. Many of their faults may simply disappear.
This is an important topic we all can learn from. What helps you to overlook your partner’s faults? How do you stay positive?