If you want relationship advice, you should probably get it from couples that have been together forever. Even if you don't know any in your own personal life, you don't have to worry, because I've gathered some tips from a few couples I know who've been married fifty fabulous years... or more! Here's what they have to say about making love last.
1 Talk to Each Other
If there's a problem with your partner, let him know! He's not able to read your mind, and stewing on it won't help -- talk to him!
Frequently asked questions
2 Give Each Other Space
You can't be together constantly. Even if you could, it would be unhealthy, so be sure to give each other the time and space to do your own things.
3 Don't Let It Go
I don't care what Elsa says: you can't really let it go... well, let YOURSELF go, anyway. Make an effort to look your best, even if you're an exhausted mom of twins and "look your best" means putting on yoga pants without milk stains and re-doing your hair in a new messy bun, maybe adding mascara?
4 Make and Maintain Small Family Moments
The little things, like having dinner together at the table every single night, can help your relationship stay strong. Form a few family habits, and stick to them!
5 Love Means Being a Team
You two are teammates, so you should always be there for each other. That means having his back, even when you're mad at him. It also means putting your squad (the two of you) first sometimes.
6 Never Stop Showing Affection
This sounds so weird to have to say, right? But sometimes we forget that he's not just our partner, he's our man. Smooch. Hold hands. Be affectionate.
7 Talk out Issues in Person
Stop relying on technology. It's easy to misunderstand each other over text, so talk out your issues face to face.
8 Learn to Say No
It's okay to say no to some of the obligations that stress you out, especially when your husband or partner is the one you're constantly taking it out on, or if he's paying the price of not having you around. Learning to say no to friends, co-workers, and even in-laws can really help your relationship.
9 Learn to Say Yes!
I'm not entirely sure I agree with this one, but all three of the couples I talked to mentioned this: say yes sometimes, even when you might feel like saying no. Not entirely in the mood for sex? Don't want to try that new restaurant? Don't feel up to a hike in the woods? Draw a few hard lines, but otherwise, make it a habit to say yes once in while, when you might feel like saying no.
10 Before There Were Kids...
Do you remember date nights before you had kids? They were fun, right? Well, in 20 years, it's going to be just the two of you again, so it's important to stay connected, sans children, so make and keep a monthly kid-free date night.
11 Be Faithful
This is basic, but so important! Unless you and your spouse have an open relationship, it's best to keep your attention and affection centered on your partner, and no one else.
12 Be Choosy
By this I mean pick your battles. Don't fight over every little thing, or both you and your partner (and also any kids you might have) will be miserable.
13 Be Kind
This is so important! Words can hurt, but they can also build, strengthen, and make secure. Choose the kind words, the ones that help.
14 Find Your Thing
Salsa lessons? Hiking? Painting? Scuba diving? Find a hobby that you and your partner can share, and get into it — way into it!
15 Bedtime?
All three of the long-time couples I talked to had something to say about the bedroom. One couple said they never went to bed angry with each other. One couple said they made an effort to go to bed and wake up at the same time every night. The third couple said they banned the TV, food, and fighting in the bedroom. Apparently, this is an important place!
What other relationship tips have you gotten from older couples?
