Life is very exciting when you're in your 20s, but also begins to present you with a number of challenges. One of these is deciding on priorities. You are beginning your career, but may also be falling in love. But what if love and work go in different directions? What if you're offered a job in another state, or your partner wants to move away? Here's how to decide which should come first, your relationship or your career …
1. How Serious?
Firstly, how serious is the relationship? Falling in love in your 20s can be very intense, and you feel that you'll never find someone else who means that much to you. But if you give up an opportunity to advance your career or do a job you love, you could regret it. Consider whether the relationship is really that significant - you may not stay together that long anyway
2. Opportunities
Is this an opportunity that you're going to get again in the future, or would you be missing out if you turned it down? Look forward and imagine how you would feel if you passed on something exciting for the sake of your relationship, only to find that the relationship didn't last anyway …
3. Keeping It Alive
A long-distance relationship isn't as difficult as it used to be, with all the means of communication at our disposal these days. So maybe you'd be able to handle the distance more easily than you think. There is always the possibility of moving later on - you may not be apart for that long. Besides, a temporary separation will help clarify if you want the relationship to last.
4. Either/or
It's not always a case of either/or. Ask yourself if or how you can manage to combine relationship and career. It may involve some compromise or sacrifice, but the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive. If both are equally important to you, look for ways to make your relationship and your career both fit into your life.
5. You're Young
Remember that you're still young, and have your life ahead of you. The relationship that means everything to you right now may fade as you grow and mature. We all change as we get older. Although your relationship may be very important to you, it's not the only important thing in your life - and if you base your whole life around it, you'll be lost if you split.
6. Committed Career?
So you've been offered a promotion, maybe in another city. It may seem foolish to turn down what appears to be a great opportunity. But if you have niggling doubts about taking up the offer, you could be subconsciously aware that you're not happy in your job or that the company isn't right for you. If you're not in the right career, then it doesn't make sense to prioritise it above relationships.
7. Advice
It's hard to get impartial advice on love and careers; your friends and family won't want you to move, for example. But if you find yourself in the relationship/career dilemma, talk to as many people as possible. Talk to people in your field about what the opportunity will mean to your career. Listening to other opinions may help you decide what is right for you.
A relationship that you have in your 20s isn't necessarily doomed, far from it. Nor am I saying that your career should always come first. That's for you to decide. But hopefully these tips will help you realise what your priorities are. Do you think that people are more important than careers?
Frequently Asked Questions
- Why do so many people struggle with choosing between career and relationship in their 20s?
- Ah, the 20s are such a defining decade! It's when you start figuring out who you are and where you want to go. Balancing ambition with personal connections can feel like a tightrope walk, and it’s all about finding a rhythm that works for you.
- Is choosing a career over a relationship selfish?
- Not at all! Prioritizing your career can be a form of self-care and setting a foundation for your future. It's about what enriches your life and makes you feel fulfilled. Everyone’s journey is personal, so whatever choice you make, own it confidently.
- Can you have a successful career and a happy relationship at the same time?
- Absolutely, yes! It's all about balance, communication, and setting boundaries. Many have accomplished both by ensuring they're with someone who understands and supports their ambitions. It might not always be easy, but it's definitely possible.
- Will choosing love over career affect my future?
- It could, but not necessarily in a bad way. Love can offer incredible support and fulfillment that fuels success in other areas, including your career. It’s all about what aligns with your values and long-term vision.
- Any tips for those who can't decide between focusing on a career or a relationship?
- Start with self-reflection. What truly makes you happy right now? Try to envision where you see yourself in five or ten years. Talk to trusted friends or mentors and gather different perspectives. Remember, your 20s are about growth and it's okay to reassess choices over time.