--- title: "7 Rules in a Lesbian Relationship People Dont Understand ..." description: "There Are No Gender Definitions; Not Every Relationship Has a Butch/Femme; Sex Toys; Sex Does Not Have to Be a Staple Every Night; Nurturing the Relationship Takes Time; More ..." url: "https://love.allwomenstalk.com/rules-in-a-lesbian-relationship-people-dont-understand/" category: "love" last_updated: "2026-06-02" --- # 7 Rules in a Lesbian Relationship People Dont Understand ... No matter what type of relationship you are in, there are rules, but rules in a lesbian relationship are something that a lot of people don't understand. I've been in a gay relationship for 6 years and there are rules in a lesbian relationship that none of my friends get – but that's okay! I've got all of the rules below that can really help you understand how a lesbian or even a gay relationship works! ## 1. There Are No Gender Definitions When it comes to lesbian relationships, one of the top rules in a lesbian relationship is that there are no gender definitions. Just because I work outside of the home and my partner works inside the home, doesn't mean that I am suddenly the 'man' in the relationship. It just means that I work outside and she works in. There aren't automatically roles that lesbian relationships follow, it depends on the participants. ## 2. Not Every Relationship Has a Butch/Femme Also, not every relationship has a butch lesbian and a femme lesbian. Truthfully, a lot of people have that misconception about lesbians and it's simply not true. In my relationship, we are just us, regular people who happen to love one another. I am not a femme or a butch and neither is my partner. ## 3. Sex Toys Another rule in a lesbian relationship is that not every relationship has to have sex toys – and if a lesbian does use them, it doesn't mean that she is missing something. Truthfully, a girl can get off in so many other ways and sex toys can just be for fun. In a lesbian relationship, us girls just want to have fun! ## 4. Sex Does Not Have to Be a Staple Every Night Because you are dealing with two girls, there isn't a rule that you have to have sex every single night. You can actually go a few weeks or even months without sex just because you don't feel like it. Try that out with a guy and who knows what can happen to your relationship! ## 5. Nurturing the Relationship Takes Time A lot of the time, people just assume that because two lesbians are dating, they are automatically engaged – or that just because they are in a relationship, they automatically want to settle down. Nurturing the relationship takes a long time and trust me, a girl wants to know her partner inside and out before completely committing. ## 6. Any Cheating is Still Cheating In a lesbian relationship, any cheating, whether it is online, with another girl or even with another guy – it's all considered cheating. This is a huge rule in my relationship and because of past relationships, I have a bunch of trust issues. This is another misconception that people have about lesbian relationships – that if a lesbian cheats with a guy, doesn't mean that she is cheating. Not true! ## 7. No Automatic Threesomes Finally, another rule in a lesbian relationship all revolves around threesomes. Just because a girl is in another relationship with another girl, doesn't automatically mean that she is going to ask for a threesome. In my relationship, I can't share – ever. So, while these are some rules and misconceptions that you might not understand – do you get them a little better now? Lesbian relationships are normal and have rules just like anyone else! 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