Sometimes it seems like the world is filled with perfect partners, all of whom are hoarding the secrets of happy couples that the rest of us just aren’t entitled to. In reality, nobody is perfect. Those who can accept imperfections are often the happiest, which is what really allows us to achieve longevity in a relationship! Some of the secrets of happy couples are surprisingly obvious, but downright brilliant at the same time.
Seriously, one of the biggest secrets of happy couples is that they just let themselves argue. In fact, I once read a story about a couple who had been married for 88-years. The woman said they thrived on an argument a day. While that may seem like a bid of a headache, it is obvious really. The more we hold back, the worse things bubble up. Argue while the small stuff is still small.
2. Be Realistic
Disney, Ryan Gosling, F.R.I.E.N.D.S…every single one of them damn things has stopped us from applying a dose of realism to our relationships! First of all, that insanely amazing infatuation you experience at first isn't going to last. Second, those things you find cute right now may get irritating in a few weeks, months, or years. Ultimately, you will both be making less effort later on. Guess what? That's absolutely fine! Enjoy the honeymoon period, but be prepared to accept imperfections later on.
3. Have Your Own Lives
At the oh-so-knowledgeable age of 16, I had a boyfriend whom I spent every second with. According to my teenage logic, that absolutely was the best way to make sure we loved each other. Almost a decade on and I appreciate my alone time more than most people I know. When you have your own hobbies in a relationship, you have something to talk about. Besides, as I learned when I was 16, you are never ever going to get your other half to love ALL of your friends. Keeping them separate is sometimes a good thing.
No man or woman is straightforward when communicating. I know us women are the ones who apparently say "I don't mind" when really we mean "Don't you dare," but I am absolutely certain men are guilty of this one too. Stop short at hiring a psychic to see what is going in his or her head, but do try to develop your own intuitions here. Your other half will sometimes be cryptic. If your sixth sense or gut is telling you there is something up or that they are not happy, scratch beneath the surface to see why.
5. Being Frank
After the whirlwind element of any romance, there are practical issues to sort out. Like money, for example. Finances are one of the leading causes of break ups, yet so many of us avoid talking about them because they are dull. When it comes to finances and other dull practicalities, be open and honest with your partner. The more you two can talk these things over together, the less likely it is you will be stressed if a problem crops up.
6. Do Your Fair Share and Make Sure They do Theirs
As someone who has worked as the full-time sole earner, while studying and taking care of two kids, I can wholeheartedly say there is nothing more frustrating than when someone does not do their fair share. The unfortunate thing here is, we all have weird and subjective views of what is actually fair! Rather than guessing what your partner sees as being clean or what chores they feel are necessary, discuss the matter. Otherwise, before you know it you will be glowering at them from across the room, wondering whether you'd be better off throwing their clothes out of the window or switching their sugar with salt.
Humor is one of the most endearing qualities in someone you are attracted to! If you can laugh at each other, you will naturally feel less stressed. In turn, you will enjoy each other's company for longer. At the same time, we all need to know our boundaries here. Everyone has sore spots, so both members of a couple need to know which areas are no-gos when it comes to joking around.
It is still possible to love each other forever, without striving to get back those fresh infatuation feelings you felt in the first place. Every couple experiences hiccups. Without them, we wouldn't be human! If you and your other half have ways to keep each other happy, do share them here for the rest of us to benefit from!