Dating for single moms isn’t easy, but it can be done, and it can be enjoyable — I’m living proof! I’ve been a single mom for most of the last 20 years, and have really enjoyed dating. There are a few pitfalls we mamas have to look out for that most girls don’t, and I’d love to share them with you. Here are 7 sensational dating tips for gorgeously single moms!
1. Don’t over-use the Sitter!
Look, your very first priority is NOT yourself or your dating life. It’s your child(ren). So don’t put them on hold (or stick them with the sitter) a whole lot so you can date. I have a once-a-week rule: Tuesday is date night. Yep, it’s a school night, so I won’t be out late, and it’s also early in the week, so if the kids are with their dad once in a while on the weekend you can supplement that Tuesday… but otherwise, spending time with the little one(s) is so much more important than dating!
2. Safety First
There are a lot of freaks and creeps out there, so this rule (which applies to ALL WOMEN) also applies to single moms, even more so: be careful! Don’t let a date pick you up from your house until you know him well, and I even recommend running a background check on a new guy before you go out with him… you never know!
3. Keep the Daddy Drama to a Minimum
No guy wants to date a woman with a lot of baby-daddy drama, so if possible, keep the daddy drama to a minimum — and trust me, this works better for you and baby, too, even if you weren’t dating anyone. There’s so much bad energy in fighting with an ex… why give him the pleasure? Stop the drama, get on with your life, and enjoy your new guy!
4. Don’t Introduce the Kids — Yet
Let’s face it. You’ll probably date quite a few men before you connect with one that’s worthy of you and your child(ren). Don’t introduce them to just anyone (or everyone) you’re dating. It’s hard for them, and can even work against you if there’s ever a custody issue. Meeting your child(ren) ought to be a privilege, one that’s earned, rather than something that just happens.
5. Stick to Your Budget
This was always an issue for me. Most of us single moms are a little out of pocket — there’s Johnnie’s soccer, Susie’s ballet, diapers, juice boxes, new shoes and coats, and loads more. So while I like it when a guy offers to pay for everything, it can be hard to accept. But girl, stick to your budget. Find a happy medium, and if a guy offers to pay, let him!
6. No Sleep-overs!
This sort of goes hand in hand with not introducing your kid(s) to every man you date, but this alone bears mentioning: no sleep-overs! Many custody agreements actually spell this out, but it’s a good idea anyway. If he doesn’t have kids, then feel free to stay over there once in a while (when your child(ren) are with their father), but don’t do sleep-overs when either of you have kids.
7. Don’t Be Bashful
Now for a bit of physical dating advice, something that may be uncomfortable to talk about: your body. If you have children, then you know what I mean… you might feel a little less-than-sexy, or think your body isn’t what it used to be. A man who cares about you isn’t going to care, trust me. And there’s always diet and exercise to keep fit… and if that’s not working, the clever use to lingerie is another amazing distraction. *wink
See? Dating for single moms doesn’t have to be difficult, it just takes some planning and a little extra forethought. It can be done, and it can be fun! If you’re a single mom, which of these dating tips are set-in-stone rules for you? Or do you have other rules or tips to share for other single moms? Do tell!
Top Photo Credit: andrilla