If you're looking for signs it's time to move on from your crush, you've already hit the first sign. We’ve all been in that situation. We’ve spent countless nights staying up, wondering if our efforts have been meaningless. We look at the clock and it’s already half past 2am but all it makes us think about is that we’ve spent so long chasing someone that might never be ours.
And one of the hardest things in life is to pretend we don’t care when, in fact, we do. We can’t help it. It’s human nature that when we desire something, we go after it even if the worst seems inevitable and the best seems impossible.
But sometimes, we have to put ourselves first. We have to think of our mental health and our ability to recover if we do end up going all in. So what’s the best way to stop all the pain from happening? Knowing when it’s time to move on. Here are the top ways to be sure.
1. How He Treats You is Everything
We’ve heard it said, but I don’t think we can ever hear it enough. The way he treats you is the way he feels about you. If he doesn’t seem to give you a lot of attention or it’s only sporadic, it’s time to say goodbye and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve. You have to remember you are capable of love and being loved. You deserve nothing less than the best, especially when you know that you’ve given the situation your all.
2. Who Initiates Conversations More
It might sound cliché, but it goes so much further beyond just seeing that person’s name pop onto your phone’s screen randomly. It means they were thinking of you. Or they saw something that made them think of you and they wanted to share it with you. If you find yourself being the one who always forces conversation out of them, that’s not a good sign.
3. Does He Talk about Other Girls in Front of You or to You
This one you have to be careful with. I don’t mean to say if he’s talking about Sansa Stark then that automatically means he doesn’t like you (because let’s get real, she’s gorgeous.) That in and of itself isn’t necessarily a sign that you have to forget about him, but if he starts talking about another girl that he knows personally or that both of you know (or worse, one of your friends), then you might want to consider emotionally detaching yourself before it’s too late.
4. He’s Mentioned Getting Back with an Ex
This is one of the most important things you could hear out of his mouth. If he’s not just mentioning another girl but talking about getting back into a relationship, you’ve got a problem. It’s very rare that he’s doing this solely to see what your reaction is to him mentioning someone else.
5. If You’ve Suggested Going out and It Hasn’t Worked
Even if it was a low-key, “I’m bored. Want to do something later?” and he blew it off, that’s still not something you should take lightly. While it is possible that he didn’t know your true intentions, most guys aren’t that oblivious. He might have come up with an excuse or told you to postpone it to a later date. All of which are not good signs.
6. If You Feel like You’re Trying to Squeeze Meaning out of Every Word
This can be a desperation move, and it’s not healthy at all. If you’re trying to dissect meaning in even one-word answers, that’s a major sign that he’s not giving you enough to be sure one way or the other. When you’re not sure, you have to be able to walk away.
7. If It’s Causing You More Hurt than Happiness to Talk
We’re all guilty of pretending that the small moments are worth the torturous ones in between. But let’s be honest, they’re really not. If you’re sitting by your phone for five minutes but it feels more like an hour as you wait for him to respond, you need to start looking elsewhere for fulfillment that you’re not going to be able to get with him.
8. If You Can’t Concentrate on Anything else
Being independent is a very attractive quality. Part of that means that you’re able to concentrate on the things that make you, you! When you find yourself unable to focus because of the stress you have over that last text convo, you need to move on.
9. You Start Feeling “unworthy”
A lot of people tend to judge their worth based on who’s standing beside them. And while it’s always a good idea to surround yourself with good people, your self worth comes from looking in the mirror and realizing how good a person you are. No one should make you feel unworthy of what you want. So if that person is doing that, they’re the one unworthy of you.
10. You Start Comparing Yourself to Other Girls
Along the same lines of feeling unworthy, you should never feel the need to compare yourself to anyone else. We are all unique in our own special ways, curvy or skinny, short or tall, sporty or girly. If that certain someone doesn’t see how great you are, it’s their loss.
11. You Become Unhealthy in Your Habits in Order to Make Yourself “prettier”
This is a big no-no. As mentioned, everyone is different in their own special ways. Never tell yourself that you need to eat less to be skinnier or wear pounds and pounds of makeup to attract someone.
12. Timing Matters
Sometimes, it’s not that the person you need to move on from is a bad person. Sometimes, it just happens that you meet each other at the wrong times in your lives. It’s important to know that moving on isn’t because of anything specifically wrong between you and him, only that the timing was wrong. Move on if you feel you’re going to be chasing time instead of enjoying it with said person.
13. He Takes Advantage of Your Good Deeds
This is a given in my opinion. However, it’s one of the more important ones on the list. If you go out of your way to take interest in his interests or to make sure he feels comfortable in a certain environment or are just generally always there for him and he doesn’t take the time to thank you or do something in return to show appreciation, he’s not worth it. End of story.
14. He Shows Major Signs of Being a Flirt
Listen up ladies, because this one isn’t pretty. If he’s being a total flirt to everyone you know, then he’s not the right one for you…or anyone for that matter. No girl deserves to have her emotions toyed with. No one. And flirty guys are the worst for doing that and making you have false hope.
15. He’s Not Interested in Anything Long Term
It’s pretty easy (most times) to tell if a guy is looking to merely hookup with you or go for something long term. However, in certain special cases, they know how to play you, unfortunately. Keep your guard up, and if you notice signs of him being a flirt, he’s probably got commitment issues, too.
16. He Just Doesn’t Show Interest
Personally, I think the media tends to portray guys as the chasers and the ones who tend to express their love more outwardly (ahem- “Say You Won’t Let Go” by James Arthur.) That’s why when a guy isn’t chasing you, it most likely means that he’s not interested. But women can feel just as longing as any guy. I know it’s hard to hear, and you might be saying to yourself “But he’s just shy,” or, “He’s just unsure of himself.” And I’m not telling you those things can’t be true, but they are highly unlikely to be.
What Signs told you to say bye to him?