Being in a relationship is all about care and compromise, having an equal respect for your partner and making sure that they feel loved and included in all of the decisions that are made with regards to you two as a couple. Here’s the thing though, even though you have committed to being together and go from an ‘I’ to an ‘us’, it doesn’t mean that you need to become one person with only one voice, your voice. Here are nine classic signs you too controlling in your relationship,
1. Quick to Criticize
You are always really quick to criticize your partner when they do something that isn’t to your liking. It doesn’t even matter if the thing in question didn’t have anything to do with you, if you don’t like the sound of it, you fly off the handle and things get personal faster than normal.
You don’t like it when he goes out with his friends or colleagues for fun social occasions, preferring that he stay at home with you and do nothing instead. This is classic isolating behaviour.
You always want and need to know where he is at all times, and you badger him with text messages and phone calls until you can get a clear understanding of where he is and what he is doing without you.
You want him to focus all of his attention and energy on you and you alone, and you get jealous and angry if you think that he is investing too much time on someone or something that doesn’t involve you.
5. Phone Check
You don’t think twice about taking his phone out of his pocket when he is sleeping and looking through all of his messages and social media platforms. The fact that you don’t feel this is an invasion of privacy is a clear indicator that you are too controlling.
You are the one in the couple who needs to make all the decisions. You get mad if he tries to assert his own opinion or desire on something; you can’t deal with it unless everything goes to your specific plans.
You ask him so many questions all the time that you start to sound like his mother rather than his girlfriend. You aren’t comfortable or happy unless you know everything there is to know about his day and how he spent it.
You play mind games to make him feel guilty when he has no reason to be. For example, he’ll go out with his friends and you will make him feel bad about it because he didn’t spend every second of his day with you.
You are mindful and manipulative with the way that you grant sexual interaction. You sleep with him when you deem him to be ‘behaving’, but if he acts in ways that you don’t personally want him to, you punish him by withholding your affection until he changes.