Have you ever wondered if you have signs you may be controlling? These are 7 signs you may be controlling and how you can work on letting go of that tendency. When you move past controlling tendencies, you may be surprised to learn that you are actually a much happier person. There is a sense of contentment in learning to keep your focus where it belongs.
1. You Believe You Know Best in Many or All Situations
One of the signs you may be controlling is that you believe you know what is best in many or all situations. You feel that you have the ability to decide what is best for other people. You probably do not do it out of maliciousness. Rather, you probably only want to help. However, it isn’t going to enrich your relationships to try to push what you feel is best onto others. Even if your way does turn out to be best, the other person has the right to make their own decisions and learn things for themselves.
2. You Worry over How Other People do Things
If you tend to worry over how other people do things in their lives, it that can be a sign that you may be controlling. You may worry over how others spend their money, take care of themselves or perform at their jobs. While some of that is normal concern, it can go beyond into true worry due to being controlling. Generally, people who have issues with control also tend to have issues with boundaries. It can help if you remind yourself to redefine your focus to yourself and your life and trust others to handle their own. Unless there is a true cause for concern and something you can do about it, it is best to shift your focus to your own life.
3. You Have a Need to Be in Charge of Situations
Generally, a controlling person is one that needs to be in charge. They will try to find a way to appoint themselves the leader or decision maker in any given situation. While leadership abilities are wonderful and nothing to be ashamed of, you have to be careful that you are not steamrolling others. Are you concerned about their thoughts and feelings? Are you using your position as a way to make sure you get your way? These are important questions to consider.
4. You Feel Responsible for Many Situations
Many times a person that is controlling will tend to feel overly responsible. They feel things are their fault that really aren’t. Again, this is an opportunity to work on boundaries. Take some time to think about what is and is not your responsibility. Don’t downplay the responsibility of others. Remember that each of us stand accountable for our own choices once we become an adult.
5. You Are Very Inquisitive about Others' Lives
Sometimes controlling people are very inquisitive about others' lives. They want to know details that they really don’t need to know. Some of these questions are asked in concern and some of them are crossing the line. Ask yourself if you should really ask questions if you think this might be something you are guilty of. Is it a question that might offend someone? If so, it might be better to say nothing.
6. You Want to Take Care of Others
Generally, people that are controlling have such a big heart. Their desire is to do what is best for others. It is an admirable trait but is also one that can cause you a lot of grief. It is better to have an attitude of helpfulness but trust others to let you know when they need help. Let them know you are willing to help and then step back and let them make that decision. You may find that they are much more willing to accept help that way.
7. Sometimes You Offend People
If you sometimes seem to offend people, then you may have an issue with being controlling. Most people do not have a high tolerance for controlling people. They get offended and aggravated with them. If you notice this is the case with you and the relationships in your life, ask yourself if it might be because you are controlling. If you think it is, work on that personality trait. You can change this about yourself.
These are 7 signs you may be controlling with others in your life and some hints on how to deal with that. Have you overcome being controlling? How did you do it?