Whether you’re in a relationship with a guy or you simply like a guy, there should usually be a point in the relationship where you step back and evaluate your feelings for him. You need to ask yourself, do I like him or just the idea of him? If you start to worry that you may just like the idea of him rather than him as a person, consider these telltale signs the next time you find yourself thinking about it to save both of you some heartache from continuing a dead end relationship.
1. You Didn’t Start to like Him until He Liked You
I think that one of the first signs that you just like the idea of someone is if you had no romantic feelings for him until you were made aware of his feelings for you. That could be a sign that your feelings from him stem from the fact that he likes you which isn't fair to either of you. If you only like him because he liked you then you clearly like the idea of a relationship better than the guy you're in one with.
2. The Thought of Being with Him is Unappealing
If the thought of being with him- even just hanging out- freaks you out or sounds unappealing, you probably like the idea of him more than the person. Stop wasting both your time and move on from that situation.
3. You Start Noticing You Have Nothing in Common
When you take a step back and look at your relationship to ask yourself do I like him, you also need to look at if you have anything in common. If you do, are they interests that one of you has developed from the other person? If you had so few common interests before the relationship began, you’re probably more in love with the idea of him than your boyfriend himself.
4. You Don’t Really Know Him
If the guy you like isn’t someone you really know, but rather someone you’ve admired from afar, you probably love the idea of him more than the person himself. You really can’t be in love with someone you know on a fairly impersonal basis. You have to get to know him firsthand to know for sure.
5. You’re Trying to Change Him
If you’ve noticed that you’re constantly trying to change him to better fit the kind of person you want, you’re in love with the idea of him. If you really loved him, you wouldn’t be trying to turn him into someone he’s not because he’d be exactly what you wanted, flaws and all.
6. You’re Happier when He’s Not There
If you don’t like spending time with him, why are you with him? You’re not in the right relationship if you ask yourself do I like him and then realize you don't like spending time with him.. You should want to spend as much time with him as you possibly can not excited when you can’t be together.
7. You Love Being in Love
If you’re someone who just loves being in love you may love the idea of him more than him as a whole. If you're with him only to be in love, you need to cut him loose and re-evaluate your relationship.
How are you sure that you’re actually in love vs. just in love with the idea of someone? Let me know in the comments!