If you're looking for signs you're in a toxic relationship, chances are you already know that you are. Relationships can be a beautiful and wonderful journey through your life. However, not all relationships are going to be beautiful, and not all relationships are going to feel good. Sometimes you’ll meet someone that you think is the most perfect human on this Earth. They shower you with gifts and attention. They make you feel like you’re the only woman in the world, only for them to make a complete 180 and turn into your worst nightmare. It’s not always easy to imagine yourself in a toxic relationship, especially when it started out so perfect. Here are some signs you're in a toxic relationship.
1. Your Partner Doesn’t Want You to Have Friends
Pulling you away from friends is one of the biggest signs you're in a toxic relationship. Having healthy friendships is an important part of life. Friendships help us grow, they help define us, they give our lives a little more meaning. However, when our partner decides we should no longer have that friendship, that’s when it becomes a problem. See, this is a type of control in a relationship. They don’t want you to have any friends because, in their eyes, you are all they need. In their eyes, you are taking time away from them. This is a big sign that a relationship is becoming toxic. You should never have to remove a healthy friendship from your life.
2. They Constantly Judge You on Everything You do (or Don’t do)
Everyone has a past, everyone makes mistakes. We are aware of this, and the last thing we need is the person we love telling us how horrible we are for our mistakes. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t make mistakes, and we don’t deserve to be judged by our loved ones. Our partners are supposed to be our support system and strength. If your partner is constantly judging you on what you’ve done wrong, this is a lack of support and shouldn’t be dealt with.
3. Lack of Communication
It started out talking all day every day. You would spend hours on the phone, waking up to sweet “good morning” texts. Now, you barely get a “hello”. What’s worse is, when there is a problem in your relationship, your partner continues to ignore you. A healthy relationship will have arguments, and that’s ok. You need to be able to have communication within your relationship to solve those problems without making the situation worse.
4. You Can’t Be Yourself around Them
Being in a relationship is supposed to be fun. Your partner should be able to bring out the best in you. It’s never fun when you can’t be yourself around someone, especially the person that is supposed to love you for who you are. If you find yourself acting differently when they are around compared to when you are alone or with friends, this may be a sign that you can’t be comfortable with your partner.
5. They Constantly Lie and/or Make Excuses
Lies are an all-around bad thing for relationships. You should be building a relationship around trust and honesty. If you find your partner lying about little things, what else could they be lying about? Excuses are a big problem as well. If you find that your partner is continuously making excuses for their behavior or actions, it’s time to reevaluate what their motive may be in this relationship.
6. Your Partner Makes You Feel like You’re to Blame
Does your partner make you feel like everything is your fault? Like you can’t do anything right and your relationship problems are on you? A toxic person will always make you feel like you are to blame, like they can do no wrong. Take a step back and see things for the way they are; you don’t need to take the blame for their issues.
7. You Have No Emotional Support from Them
Both partners in a relationship need to be emotionally supportive of each other. A relationship is not a one-way street, and should never be. Your partner should be your strength when you have none, they should be your courage when you’re afraid. If you feel like your partner doesn’t support your decisions, and isn’t giving you the emotional support you need, have a talk with them. Communicate. If communication isn’t working, well that brings us back to being toxic.
8. They Take Their Anger out on You
It can be hard as humans to control our anger. However, when you are in a relationship you should not be taking that anger out on your partner. This will cause problems in the relationship, causing stress to build on both sides. No one wants to be constantly yelled at, no one wants to feel like they are a burden. No one should have to deal with feeling like that.
9. They Always Put You down and Make You Feel Worthless
I’ll say it again, a relationship is supposed to make you feel good; your partner is supposed to be your strength. If your partner is making you feel like you are worthless and always putting you down, that will result in a negative image of yourself. You deserve to be treated with respect, you deserve to be treated like you are worthy of love - because you are!
10. The Obvious One: They Have Physically Abused You
Physical abuse should never, and I mean never, be acceptable. It doesn’t matter what you think you have done to deserve it. Hitting is not love. If you have to justify it, you know it’s not right, and you deserve so much more. If your partner ever turns to physical abuse, GET OUT. Don’t believe things will get better, you need to protect yourself.
If you ever find yourself in a toxic relationship, please respect yourself enough to walk away. Know your worth, and what you deserve before it’s too late.