Simply put, you're not yet over your ex-flame when you constantly think about him. Friends often tell you to get a grip and just stop moping around like a sick dog. You tell them you're okay and have, in fact, moved on. But honey, the following signs and actions tell you that you're really not over your ex yet:
One tell-tale sign that you're not over him? You still keep his messages in your inbox from those days that you were still together. You've memorized messages like this "Hey sweetie, you are so beautiful today. You mean the world to me. I love you dearly. Dinner later?" and yet you keep reading it.
The most self-destructive of all is to continue this tight bond with his Mom or siblings. When it's over, it's over. You will never move on with your life if you keep on going to his parents' home and bringing his Mom New York cheesecake. You became 'part of their family' because you were with him. But now, well dear, not anymore. I'm not saying you become enemies with them but distancing yourself will help you recover. They know. You don't have to spell it out to them.
Picture this: you spend the entire night watching the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy because this was your ultimate favorite. In the middle of the first movie, you thought about how he used to hold your hand and kiss you in the cheek as elves, dwarves, and a hobbit appear on screen. You keep on watching the same movies again and again because they remind you of him. Not healthy, Dear.
I can almost see the faces of my lady friends nodding in agreement on this. I mean, who hasn't stalk their former flames on FB or other social media networks for that matter? Checking his FB page once or twice maybe okay but doing it every day is not good. That's stalking, friend. And it's sort of creepy. Do yourself a favor and unfriend the ex.
In a bid to catch his attention, you send a group message ("Hey! Book club meeting on Friday at Bookworm. Meet up at 7pm. See you there!") of a specific activity that you are involved in. In reality, you don't really care if your friends reply that they're going or not. What you are waiting for is a text message from him acknowleding your message. When he replies "Hey! Can't make it but great cause!", take it as "I am not interested. Don't want to see you." Ouch. But accepting the truth is the first step to moving on.
Similar to the last point but this one is really directed to him. No causes, events or quotes. Just messages meant only for him like: "Hey, I passed by the Italian restaurant on Dove Street and thought about the pizza that you like." Or you still call him at the end of the day and tell him about your horrible boss. Honey, please stop doing all these. Your life is not to be defined by a break-up.
You know him too well that you know exactly how he smells. You're in a mall and somebody passes by and you can tell that was his cologne. Bad news: you're still not over him. Try talking this out with your best friends. They'll castigate you, for sure. But that's why you have friends...to talk sense into your crazy mind.
How did you get over a nasty break-up?