If you often feel insecure or frustrated because you think that your partner doesn’t try hard enough to show you his (her) love and you’ve tried talking with him (her) before but without any spectacular results, then you both should learn a few new ways to feel more secure as a couple. Insecure people often tend to externalize their problems and that’s why they tend to blame other people for them. Well, that’s not the right way to take care of your issues and definitely not one of the best ways to feel more secure as a couple. You can definitely make a difference and move your relationship to a healthier place by simply considering the next 13 tips:
1. Being a Couple Should Be Your First Priority
One of the most effective ways to feel more secure as a couple is by turning your relationship into your first priority, ahead of your own individual needs. Try to think more often about your partner’s emotional needs and take them into account the next time you make a decision that concerns both of you. If being a couple is your first priority, then you will feel more secure with each other and more strong as a couple.
2. Find the Perfect Balance
You do know that famous saying “what you put in is what you get out”? Well, it can perfectly describe your relationship too. If you want to feel more secure as a couple, you should try to find the perfect balance between what you both put into it. If one of you puts 100% and the other only 10%, then your relationship will be imbalanced. Ideally, you should both give 100% effort all the time or at least try to find a balance so that you both receive something in return.
3. Don’t Neglect Your Partner
You do know that it takes two to tango, so that’s why each of you should participate in your relationship. Don’t neglect your partner because, by doing that, you could eventually hurt yourself! If you want your needs to be met consistently, try to show your partner love, security, and also safety. If one or both of you are abusive emotionally, physically, or spiritually then your relationship is at risk. Try to value personal growth and work on overcoming your individual insecurities together.
4. Spend Enough Time Together
I know you might say that you’re always extremely busy and exhausted so you don’t have enough time to spend with your loved one. But, guess what? A lot of people have to balance work and family all the time and they still manage to find enough time to spend with their partner. Take a look at your daily schedule and see what changes you can make in order to include some time to spend with the one you love. You could go out on a date or simply stay at home and talk for a couple of hours; the choice is yours.
5. Have Personal Integrity
If you feel a little insecure both as individuals and as a couple, you might tend to say or do all kind of things and not take any responsibility for them. You don’t need to gain approval from other people because this isn’t a contest. Also, you shouldn’t avoid conflict by delaying it. Have some personal integrity! Say what you mean and do what you say! It’s not that hard to do it, just think about how much more secure you will be as a couple afterwards.
6. Be a Safe Partner
If you want to learn how to feel more secure as a couple, you should first learn how to be a safe person yourself. Everybody has their own insecurities, but you shouldn’t let them interfere with your relationship. Treat your partner the way you would like to be treated. Have a little more confidence in yourself and in own strength and you will see how much more secure you will feel in your relationship.
7. Don’t Be Selfish
In order to make your relationship more secure, you should try to forget about your needs, both emotional and physical, and think about different ways to make your partner happy. Don’t be selfish! By thinking about your loved one’s happiness you’ll improve your behavior and the way you think. Don’t forget: change begins within and just like Mahatma Gandhi said: “Be the change you wish to see in the world!”.
8. Spend Time Apart
You have to feel comfortable spending time apart, or your relationship will never work. When you don’t see him for a day, do you get anxious? Do you suspect that he’s lying when he tells you where he is? In order to have a healthy relationship, you have to trust him. When you’re apart, you shouldn’t fret, because you know that you’ll always reunite.
9. Just Listen
It’s no surprise that different people want different things. Ask your partner how much affection they desire. You could feel like you’re giving them the proper amount of hugs, kisses, and compliments, but they could feel overwhelmed. If you’re in love, you should feel comfortable talking to one another. A few simple questions can’t hurt.
10. Express Yourself
If you’re worried about where you stand with your partner, they could share your concern. If you love them, tell them. Too many people keep their emotions hidden, because they think that their partner already knows how they feel. Even if they know that you love them, they’ll like to hear you say the words. Actions are important, but that doesn’t mean that words should be neglected.
11. Don’t Hide Whom You Are
A little bit of mystery is nice in the beginning of a relationship. However, you can’t keep up your walls forever. You have to learn to be open with one another. If you hide your feelings, hopes, and dreams, then how well will they really know you?
12. Get Involved
If you ask your partner to meet your parents or best friends, they’ll know how serious you are about the relationship. You aren’t going to let just anyone into your personal life. By getting to know one another’s friends and family, you’ll strengthen your bond.
13. Don’t Hold Back
Committing to another human being is a scary thing, but it’s also beautiful. Don’t let yourself get frightened and run away from something special. Once you open yourself up to the idea of being together for the long haul, you’ll feel more secure in your relationship. If you both feel the same, you could have a love that will last a lifetime.
It’s not easy to work on your relationship but you must agree that it definitely worth every little effort. Do you know any other effective ways to feel more secure as a couple? Do tell!
This article was written in collaboration with editor Holly Riordan.