Rules for dating evolve with every new generation – but the thing is, if you start dating in your teens, then the rules for dating when you hit your 20s are totally different and you have to adapt to them. You have to learn new rules all the time, and it can get confusing, not to mention highly frustrating. What works now? What doesn't? Do you ask him, does he ask you, can you still call first? What's going on? Don't worry. The rules for dating today are different, sure, but they're still pretty simple once you get the hang of them!
1. Pick a New Movie
A lot of people pick up their rules for dating from movies – like chick flicks. Don't do that. If Jennifer Aniston is your role model, start watching Judd Apatow movies instead or something. They're typically more realistic and more creative, and although the characters Jennifer plays may have happily-ever-after relationships, Jennifer herself doesn't have a good track record.
2. You're Not in High School
This is important to remember – for both participants. Don't let your friends play a big part in your dating life, carrying messages to the person you like or giving you advice that really doesn't work. Don't get into Facebook fights when you're unhappy (my sparkly bestie can attest to what happens to guys when they pull that), and don't relegate your relationship to texts. It's just bad news all the way around.
3. Don't Bring Your Work along
When you go out with someone, you cannot just go on and on about your job. You probably do it well and have every right to be proud of it, but especially in early days, your date doesn't need to know every nuance of what you do – and you don't need to know all the details of your date's job either. Exchanging anecdotes is fine, but wait until you've gotten semi-serious to start bringing the office on your date. This is one of those rules for dating that helps you make sure things stay interesting.
4. Be Creative
In today's dating world, you have to be creative. The same old thing just won't cut it. When you have a boring date, it can make you get in a serious rut. So, find fun alternatives to the old standards. For instance, cook together instead of going out to dinner. Go book shopping instead of hitting a movie. These options will give you time to talk to each other, rather than sitting in silence.
5. Plan It
Everybody is busier than they used to be, and today's rules for dating reflect that. It's hard to be spontaneous – unless you plan it first. It's hard to have a fly-by-night date anymore; you have to schedule it. Still, if you like spontaneity, you can plan time for a date without actually planning exactly what you're going to do.
6. Don't Drink
Seriously, just don't do it. I mean, a glass of wine or a cocktail is fine, but do not get drunk. Do not. That will just ruin your dating life. Getting drunk doesn't reflect well on you, it can be dangerous, and word can get around that you're one of Those Girls. You'll never live down the occasion when you danced on the table top with a napkin on your head.
7. Carpe Diem
Of all the rules for dating, this is the most important. You need to make the most of every opportunity. You can make the first move, ask out the person you like, call first, and do what you like to do. Don't limit or censor yourself. Be who you are and go after what you want!
Just because the rules for dating have changed for the modern woman, it doesn't mean that you have to follow all of them. Pick what works for you, adapt them to your style, and make sure you're comfortable. If your own personal rules for dating get results, then that's all you need! But it definitely never hurts to know what dating trends and rules are making waves right now. What are your rules for dating in today's modern world?
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