There's nothing quite like the experience of meeting your partner's family for the first time. It’s 2024, and let’s be frank - the stakes are higher than ever. Making a great first impression is practically an Olympic sport these days! From my own hilarious attempt to charm my college boyfriend’s parents with a lasagna that nearly set their kitchen on fire (yes, that happened), I’ve learned a few things the hard way. So, grab your seat, because I'm about to share some foolproof ways to make sure his family adores you.
Building a rapport with family members is key to securing their affection, and I can't stress enough how important this is. You don't want the cold shoulder from Aunt Karen, trust me. You’ll want to engage in genuine conversations, showing genuine interest in their hobbies and lives. Got a mother-in-law who loves knitting? Great! Ask her about her latest project or even better, compliment that blanket she’s been working on for years. Remember, attention to detail in conversations makes a world of difference.
Every family has its quirks, and understanding family dynamics can help you navigate them like a pro. It's a bit like learning the rules of Monopoly – only with fewer board flips (hopefully). Uncle Bob likes his history chats? Perfect! Your high school knowledge of World War II just became relevant again.
Now, let’s not forget the more ‘awkward’ moments. Handling awkward moments with grace can be tricky, but it's all about confidence and poise. When my best friend accidentally mistook her boyfriend's grandma for his nanny, she turned her blunder into a funny story that kept everyone laughing. The lesson here? Own your awkward moments.
What really seals the deal, though, is respecting family traditions. Whether it's carving pumpkins in October or singing carols in July (don’t ask), participation and enthusiasm can go a long way. My boyfriend’s family had a quirky tradition of playing croquet on Christmas Eve – and let’s just say I can now swing with the best of them. Don't shy away from these experiences; immersing yourself can earn you major brownie points.
And speaking of brownie points, if you’re feeling generous and thoughtful, bringing a small, thoughtful gift doesn’t hurt. Just make sure it's not something overly extravagant. It’s 2024, and the $6 artisanal jam from the local farmer’s market is more appreciated than a $60 crystal vase.
So, fellow family charmers, this introduction barely scratches the surface, but if you’re prepared to embrace these tips with humor and humility, you’re well on your way to becoming the beloved addition to any family.
The absolute first rule is to turn up as soon as they want to meet you. If you keep prevaricating and making excuses, they are going to assume you don’t want to meet them or that you have something to hide. Don’t give them any opportunity to think negative of you before they get the chance to see and know how wonderful you are.
When meeting your partner’s family for the first time, it’s important to make a good impression. Here are a few tips to ensure that his family adores you.
First and foremost, make sure to be punctual and show up on time. If you’re running late, let them know and apologize. This will show them that you value their time and respect them.
Be friendly and polite. Make sure to introduce yourself with a smile and a handshake. Ask them questions about themselves and show genuine interest in their answers. This will help to create a warm and inviting atmosphere.
Dress appropriately. Make sure you’re dressed for the occasion. If it’s a more formal gathering, wear something a bit dressier. If it’s a more casual affair, dress casually but still look presentable.
Be prepared to engage in conversation. Have some topics in mind that you can bring up in conversation. This will help to break the ice and make them feel more comfortable.
Finally, show your appreciation. Thank them for having you over and for their hospitality. This will show them that you recognize and value their efforts.
Every family has certain hot button topics. One of the easiest ways to get his family to like you is to simply avoid bad topics. Talk to your partner before the big meet and see what's off limits. Odds are, you should probably avoid talking about religion or politics as these are always tense topics. While you might get to controversial conversations later on, wait until his family likes you first.
You honestly don't know what your guy has told his family about you. Plus, it's their job to learn as much as possible during a single meeting. They will ask awkward questions. Don't get defensive. Remain calm and answer any questions they ask as respectfully as possible. If there's something you're not comfortable with, tell them you're not comfortable discussing that right now.
Pretty much in the same vein as dealing with questions that raise your hackles, take their proffered advice with grace. Parents are parents and one of their jobs is to dispense advice according to the law of Mom and Dad. You don’t have to follow it. Just be polite and thank them for their good guidance.
Everyone loves talking about things they enjoy such as hobbies or their career. Talk to your guy about things you and his family might have in common. Any time the conversation starts to make you feel uncomfortable, bring up one of your mutual interests. These topics are also great icebreakers. With mutual ground to stand on, everyone feels a little more comfortable.
Even if you're naturally shy, his family will think the worst of you if you're quiet the whole time. Participate in conversations. Ask his family questions. If nothing else, ask for some funny stories from his childhood. Parents and siblings love sharing embarrassing stories. While you don't have to be a social butterfly, you'll have to talk at least a little.
You don't have to wear formal attire, but dress appropriately for the meet. You want to make a good first impression. This isn't the time for your tightest or sexiest clothes. For casual meetings, nice jeans and a solid-colored tee are fine. If you're not sure, ask your guy how his family typically dresses and what you should wear. After all, he wants you to make a great impression too.
This is the 21st Century. Most parents will assume that you and your man have probably gotten naked and down to the dirty (even if you haven’t). That doesn’t give you carte blanche to flaunt your sexual relationship in the family’s face. Limit the PDAs, don’t drape yourself all over him and no tongue kissing. But, still be affectionate with your guy. Hold hands, hug, give pecks on the cheek – otherwise they’ll think you’re a cold fish.
You'll have to interact with his family more than the initial meeting. You don't have to go to every family function, but try to attend as many as possible. The more times you blow them off, the less his family will like you. Standing by your guy's side during random family events shows his family you like him and them.
If you are invited to go to a family function, offering to help out will always win you brownie points. If you aren’t a great cook, offer to lay the table or help with the room setting. Even wash up if you need to. Just do something to get involved. And you don’t have to limit it to family functions. You can offer to assist with younger children’s homework, or the elder sister’s college application. It all helps you fit in and become enveloped as a family member.
The more his family gets to know you, the more they'll like you. Try to find times to invite his family to do things with the two of you. For instance, you could host a dinner or meet everyone at a restaurant. Not only will you feel more comfortable, but they'll be happy to be invited. If you feel comfortable enough doing things with members of his family on your own, even better.
I know it's stressful trying to get your partner's family to like you. While you might not get everyone on your side, remember, your partner loves you and that's what matters most. Be yourself and his family will come around. What tips do you have for getting a guy's family to like you?
This article was written in conjunction with editor Neecey Beresford