Finding ways to overcome trust issues in new or existing relationships isn't always easy. After all, you've been betrayed before and you don't want it to happen again. Don't worry, there are ways to overcome trust issues and build happy relationships again. With a little work, you will be able to trust those around you and not be weighed down by always shutting everyone out.
1. Study Actions
One of the best ways to overcome trust issues is to study the actions of others. Often times, we're hurt because we believed in promises that never came true. Maybe someone promised to be faithful, but cheated. Before giving your full trust to someone, study their actions. Do their actions match their words? Gradually, you'll be able to quickly tell who you can and can't trust.
2. Consider Everyone Equal
Everyone hasn't hurt you; only a select few. When you meet someone, don't immediately decide they can't be trusted. Instead, start any conversation with someone new with an open mind. You can be cautious, but don't push them away because you don't trust them. Keep the conversation casual until you feel more comfortable sharing more. Think of everyone as a blank slate, not an enemy.
3. Ask Questions
If someone's treated you badly in the past, ask them why they did it. Sometimes we feel as if there's something wrong with us. It helps to understand why a person betrayed you. Maybe they honestly didn't mean to or if they did, at least you'll know why they did it. The more you understand past hurts, the easier it is to recognize the traits of untrustworthy people in the future.
4. Gather Information
Your friend might not trust someone, but it doesn't mean that person can't be trusted. Before you judge someone, take the time to gather information. Talk to other people and get multiple opinions. Talk to the person in question and ask them about certain situations or things they've done. Having a well-rounded view of a person will help you clearly decide whether you can trust someone or not.
5. Take Things Slow
It's okay to have trust issues. If you've been hurt multiple times, it's actually hard not to have a few issues with trusting someone. Forcing yourself to blindly trust someone sometimes just makes you clam up even more. Instead, talk to your friend, family member or partner about your trust issues and ask them to be patient with you. If they care, they'll gladly give you time and do what they can to help you learn to trust them.
6. Test People
I know it might seem wrong, but a great way to overcome trust issues is to test others. Share a supposed “secret” with someone and see whether they share it or use it against you in any way. It's easy to tell who you can and can't trust using this method. You can also test by asking people to do simple things, such as calling. Think about different tests and try them out on those you're not certain about. Just don't make the tests obvious.
7. Seek Counseling
Sometimes you can't handle trust issues on your own. In this case, it's time to seek outside help. Go to someone you can trust, such as a friend or family member. If that's not an option, seek professional counseling. Sometimes talking things out gives you a new perspective on your trust issues. You're able to discover why you feel the way you do and how to move past it.
We all have trust issues to some extent, but if they're affecting your relationships, it's time to take steps to overcome them. While you can't always trust everyone, finding the people you can trust will help you overcome trust issues. Just remember to be patient as it may take weeks and even months to make progress. How have you overcame your trust issues?