So He Cheated Should You Take Him Back Again?

By Jennifer

It doesn't matter how you found out - you're heartbroken because your man cheated on you! The question is, of course, whether or not you can or should take him back. It's painful - I'm so sorry! - but here are a few questions you should ask yourself to help you decide whether to give him another go, or kick him to the curb with the rest of the trash.

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1

Did He Tell You, or Did Someone else?

If your man confessed to his own wrong-doing, then chances are, he has a conscience and he knew what he did was wrong. If he didn't tell you, he might have continued seeing this other woman until you found out some other way.

2

What Does HE Want?

Not that it makes all the difference, of course, but does he want to try and work things out? Or now that he's been caught, does he want to move on? A reconciliation will only work if you BOTH want it.

3

Is He Sorry?

Has he apologized, and if so, did your heart tell you he was genuine and sincere? If he was, and is, then it might help to realize that he's human, and might have made a mistake, nothing more, and he won't do it again.

4

Can You Forgive Him?

I'm not very good at that whole "forgive and forget" thing. What holds me up is the "forgive" part. It's been nearly a decade since my husband left me for another woman, and I've moved on, but I haven't ever been quite able to forgive him for it. If you do have forgiveness in your heart, in general, then you might be able to master the necessary "forgive and forget," and kudos to you for it.

5

What Did You Learn about Him?

Does he have an underlying problem that led him to cheat? For example, a man battling a drug or alcohol addiction might have a lapse in judgment he wouldn't have had otherwise. If he truly wants to work things out, he'll have to address the deeper issue, not just the cheating. Will he do that?

Famous Quotes

If you would take, you must first give, this is the beginning of intelligence.

Laozi
6

Do You Have a Backup Plan?

If you don't have a backup plan for your life without him, it may seem easier to stay, to take him back, than to work out a new life plan. Please, don't let that be the reason you take him back - you'll only regret it later. It may seem frightening and overwhelming to start your own life over again, but you can do it!

7

Is He a Repeat Offender?

Did he make a one-time mistake, or is he a serial cheater? Has he cheated on other girlfriends or wives, or on you, before?

These quick questions can't resolve the entire issue for you, but they'll help in getting you on the path to making a solid decision. It's also an excellent idea to talk to a pro, a counselor or therapist who can help you, yourself, or the two of you as a couple. Whatever happens, you can get through it!

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Try to give him a second chance..

I usually don't comment, but this article does a good job of covering all the aspects. If a woman really wants to take an EX back who cheated, she needs to evaluate herself, the ex, and the relationship before making any drastic decisions

Never ever take a guy back if he cheated! What are the odds he won't do it again?!

I would never take a guy back if he cheated on me. I believe that a cheater is always going to be a cheater especially if the person cheated on you in a relationship. It will cause a lot of stress and hurt in the end.

I do agree with all of ur decisions and opinions but have u ever thought that it's isn't really his fault for cheating. Guys have more testosterone levels than girls so he may have more sexual attention then u think. Maybe u haven't really given him what we wants. I have been cheated on and I know it isn't fun but u should always give someone a second chance. Relationships have ups and downs, which is healthy, so maybe the cheating-on is a down. But like I said, with downs there are always ups. Take @m4nd4 for example, she cheated on someone but everything was fine after. She is still with her bf (I think). Everyone has a bad day. Maybe ur bf that cheated on u was having a bad day and he just wanted to get out and go to a bar or something. He might have gotten drunk and went with another girl. Just give him another chance

I like this article and I don't agree with "once a cheater always a cheater" everyone is different. My dad is a serial cheater and has gone threw two marriages.. Not very good. I have wrongfully cheated and I have yet to cheat again on my boyfriend. And I will not ever again. I was immature and wrong for it. So again, cheaters don't have to stay cheaters... Everyone is different and this article is a good way to go about your decision.

I agree BLAfireri men use sex without emotional attachment. Of course men know when they r cheating but sex to men has no meaning. So if your man cheats it's not personal but if a woman takes it personally then she will have to think of moving in to a faithful man. Simple

Never. Period.

Speaking for my self I wouldn't because it's like giving him permission to do it again .

Agreed.@J

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