If you are in a relationship for very long, you will have to learn to compromise with your partner. Compromise is an important part of any relationship. It can help you to overcome obstacles and restore closeness again. These 7 steps can help you to reach compromise with your partner.
1. Define the True Issue
If you want to find compromise with your partner, first you have to define the true issue. This means that you sift through the disagreement to see what is really at the heart of it. Don’t let yourselves get distracted by letting other issues get pulled in. Stick to the true issue. If you can figure out what that is, you are at a good starting point.
2. Listen to One Another
Sometimes, during a disagreement, we are so sure that we are correct that we don’t hear one another. We are only thinking about ourselves and how right we are. If you want to reach a compromise with your partner, you need to listen to each other. Try to see their point of view and where they are coming from. You don’t have to agree but you do need to listen.
3. Be Empathetic
If you can reach the point where you can listen to one another and try to understand each other’s point of view, you will be much more likely to reach a compromise. Try to understand your partner’s feelings. You still don’t have to see things their way but try to understand why they feel like they do. Empathy will bring you many steps closer to compromise. It will put you many steps in the right direction.
4. State What You Each Want
After you define the issue and try to understand each other’s thoughts and feelings, you need to do this step. State what you each want. What would make you happy out of the situation you are disagreeing over? It is important to think about what you need to be okay with the circumstances you are in. Both of your feelings matter here.
5. Suggest Possible Compromises
After you each state what you want, you need to start moving toward one another. You are both going to have to give a little. That is what compromise truly is. Both parties have a different desired outcome and will try to find a new outcome that gives each party a portion of what they want. Think about how you can give on your side. Suggest different options for both of you to give on.
6. Be Willing to Bend a Little
You have to be willing to bend a little. This is the hard part. It means that both of you are not going to get exactly what you want. But you can each get a portion of what you want when you bend a little. You want to bend and make sure that your partner is too. You might even take turns suggesting how you will bend to try to meet in the middle until you find common ground.
7. Tweak It
It is important to realize that a compromise is a working agreement. It will probably have to be tweaked from time to time. It is good to keep in mind that it is not something solid. It can also be reassuring to remember that you can revisit this issue as needed. You will eventually get the issue to the point of a compromise you are both happy with if you keep lines of communication open.
These are 7 important steps you need to take when you are working toward a compromise. Compromises can help you through difficult patches in your relationship when you cannot reach agreement any other way. Have you been through situations in your relationship where compromise was the answer?