There are certain things you need to do when you leave an abusive relationship in order to take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. I do know what you are going through if you are in this situation because I have personally been in an abusive relationship and left it to move on with my life. I can offer you some guidance to follow when you leave an abusive relationship. You will get through this difficult time period - truly!
1. Put Protective Measures in Place
When you leave an abusive relationship, you have to think about how to protect yourself. The first thing you need to do is put protective measures in place. Do not be afraid to file for protective orders. Those measures are there for people in the situation you are in and are meant to protect them. You have to think smart at this point in time in your life.
2. Stay on Guard
While it is good to file for protective measures, you cannot completely trust them to keep you safe. Most times, if not all times, when you are leaving an abusive relationship, you are leaving an individual that does not have the normal respect for people and rules that they should. You need to be careful where you go and who you are with. I know this is a terrible way to have to live but it is most likely temporary and you have to look out for your own safety. This is an important time to be street smart and look over your shoulder.
3. Seek Legal Representation
As difficult as it is, you need to seek legal representation if there will be any kind of court dates. It is always better to have legal representation than to try to go it alone. This is doubly so if you were married to the person that abused you. But don’t settle for anyone. Ask around and make sure you are going with a good choice of a lawyer.
4. Surround Yourself with Support
This is a very hard thing to go through. I remember it well. It is really important to surround yourself with supportive family and friends right now. You need the reminder that people care about you. You also need people that will be there for you and listen when you need to talk.
5. Begin Taking Steps to Move on
It is important to shift your focus when you leave an abusive relationship. While you will have times of grief, hurt, regret and maybe even shame, it is important to start thinking of what is waiting for you in the future. This is a good time for a life change. Maybe you could go back to school or look for a better paying job. It is good to look to the future and stop looking back.
6. Realize It Will Take Time to Heal
What you have been through is a tremendous ordeal. It is going to take time to heal. It isn’t unusual to have bad dreams or feel afraid. Be patient with yourself as you go through all of these powerful emotions. Assure yourself that you will get better.
7. Take Care of Yourself
You know, you certainly deserve some pampering with what you have been through. Be kind to yourself right now. Do things like getting your hair done or go out to lunch with a girlfriend. Buy something you would like to have, just because. These little gestures help you return to a sense of normalcy.
Although leaving a relationship is very difficult, these things can help you to move on with your life. If you have been through this situation, what advice can you give other women in that place? I know they would appreciate all the bits of wisdom you can offer.