Managing jealousy in a relationship was something I used to have to do a lot. I used to be an incredibly jealous person, and I think that is something that has simply disappeared with age! Managing jealousy in a relationship is something we are all going to have to do at some point or another. You may find yourself managing your own feelings, or handling the emotions of someone else.
1. Are You Being Reasonable?
One of the easiest ways of managing jealousy in a relationship is to stop and check if you are being reasonable. Think about what it is that is sparking your jealousy. Is it really worth being annoyed about? Try to do this alone while reflecting on the problem for a few hours. Once you have identified why you are not being reasonable (if that is the case), write it down and reflect on it when jealousy rears its gruesome head.
2. Check for Insecurities
It is often the case that jealousy stems from insecurities. I remember feeling jealous of a female friend of an ex. The main reason was that she was skinnier than me. Fortunately those woes rarely plague me now, but at the time they felt very real. If you can identify an insecurity, try to embrace yourself and reflect on your strong points. Don't let feeling insecure drive your jealousy.
3. Let Go of the past
The past can seriously kill a relationship. I have been cheated on, so I understand the paranoia those experiences can bring! Many of us will find ourselves with a partner who has also been cheated on. When this happens, try to let go of the past together. Some people cheat, but another person's bad behavior shouldn't taint the experience you have right now.
4. Getting or Giving Clarification
Sometimes a person's behavior can seem odd, but that doesn't mean they are cheating. If you are worried about the way your partner is behaving, talk to them about it. Similarly, if your partner is displaying signs of jealousy, ask them what has sparked the problem. Getting and giving clarification over a situation that is troubling you can prevent jealousy. In many cases, you guys can sit down and realize you were just being silly.
Sometimes you may come across a situation where someone is clearly flirting with the person you love. Even worse, they may be actively hunting them down. First, recognize that you have someone awesome--someone else pursuing them is a compliment really! Next, realize that you only have to trust them. You can't control the way other people act, so let go.
6. Spend Time Reconnecting
Sometimes jealousy begins when you have spent too much time apart. Working away, having to dedicate more time to studying, and starting a job that is demanding can cause jealousy. The person you love isn't jealous of you, they're jealous of the person who gets to spend time with you! If this is the problem, take some time to reconnect with the one you love. It can work wonders for your relationship, as it delivers instant reassurance.
7. Ditch Social Media
I have lost count of the number of times my friends have worried about jealousy stemming from social media. Guess what, you can live without it! If you both ditch social media, you are removing a major player in the causes of jealousy. Usually, Facebook is the root of these problems. There are simpler ways for you to stay in touch with others, and they won't cause jealousy.
Jealousy is a real killjoy in relationships. It feels bad to experience it, and it often feels even worse to be on the receiving end of it. Fortunately, most of us can manage these problems. If you can't, you may need to re-evaluate the relationship. If you have successfully managed jealousy in the past, how did it work for you?