Whether you’re young, free and single, or are seeing someone but haven’t tied the knot yet, you’re probably used to being considered single, and you’ll know that there are definitely some things not to say to a single woman. From well-meaning friends asking you if you’re ever going to get married, to people making comments about your biological clock ticking, it can all get a bit annoying, leaving you feeling lonely and desperate – even though you’re quite happy with your single status! Here are 9 things not to say to a single woman; avoid mentioning them at all costs!
Implying that someone is sad, lonely and desperate by asking them if they’re going to hurry up and get married is just plain rude. Perhaps you don’t want to get married, and you’re happy with your young, free and single lifestyle. Or perhaps you’re waiting for the right man rather than rushing into commitment with just anyone who comes along. This question is definitely a major no-no and is one of the things not to say to a single woman, especially if you want her to remain friends with you!
I’m sure we’ve all had older women approach us and say this. By the time they were our age, they were married with two children and a third on the way. Society is changing, and young women are focusing more on their careers and their social life rather than just settling down and having a family, and there’s nothing wrong with this. The next time someone says this to you, just smile and say, ‘that must have been hard work. I love the freedom of being able to travel and go out with the girls whenever I like.
You should never, ever say this to a friend or anyone else. There’s some stupid rule out there which says if a man hasn’t proposed after 18 months, he never will. That’s simply not true! We all move at our own pace when it comes to relationships, so if you’ve been with your guy a while and you’re considering marriage, don’t rush things. Just as you might not have felt ready for a serious relationship right at the start, he might not be ready to settle down yet, and other factors come into play such as age, financial stability etc.
Don’t rub it in just because you’re loved up – you shouldn’t make your single friends feel bad. If you’re single yourself, even more reason not to ask, as nobody wants to be reminded of how long they’ve been single for. Being single at the same time as your friends is usually a lot of fun, as you’ve got girlfriends at hand for every event that crops up, and you can even go on double blind-dates.
Any mention of a woman’s biological clock is guaranteed to drive her crazy, and I personally hate when people start speaking to me about this. Firstly, my biological clock is none of your business, and whether I do or don’t decide to have children is nothing to do with you. Secondly, it’s just not true that you need to have your first child before you’re 30. There are plenty of women who don’t even think about settling down and having kids until they’re in their 40s or older, so don’t feel pressured by society – do it when it feels right for you.
This is something that people have often said to me when I was younger, and it’s guaranteed to start the self-doubting questions and over-analyzing that we all do when we’re alone. It gets you thinking, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ and wondering why you don’t have a boyfriend when everyone else does. Instead of worrying about why you’re single, embrace it, have fun and grow as a person, so that when you do find Mr Right, you’ll be ready to wow him with stories of your amazing experiences.
Nobody likes to feel like a gooseberry, and whilst well-meaning friends have often invited me out with them and their other half, it always feels a bit awkward. With your best friend and her bloke, this is usually okay, but with anyone else, it just feels like you’re intruding on their couple time. The cinema is an especially awkward experience if there are three of you; it’s far better to go for a casual lunch or drinks instead!
Sometimes, when you’re in a relationship, you long for the freedom of being single. Likewise, when you’re single, you find yourself daydreaming about loved-up coupledom. I know whenever I’m single, especially in the winter months, I find myself wishing for someone to cozy up and watch a movie with. We normally want what we can’t have; but don’t go wishing away your relationship and making out that you’re so jealous of your friend’s single status, when most of the time you’re happy to have a partner in crime.
Guys, this is one for you. Just because a girl is single doesn’t mean she’s always up for ‘no-strings’ fun. Some of us are actually looking for something a bit more meaningful, so just because we’re out at the bar with our friends, don’t make any assumptions! It’s far better to get to know us and find out for yourself what we’re looking for – if you’re just interested in one thing then many of us will just keep looking.
Keep these tips in mind and you’re less likely to offend single friends and family members – remember, there’s nothing wrong with you if you’re single. Sometimes, being single is a harder and braver choice than being part of a couple, as you’re dealing with everything life throws at you on your own. But that means you’re tough, in control and living life the way you want it, and what could be more attractive to Mr Right than that?
Have you ever offended a single friend, or are you single and have to put up with rude comments from other people? Share some of the worst ones with me, and make me feel better!