Maybe you’ve been through a failed relationship and are a little nervous going ahead, or you’ve just found someone wonderful and are looking forward to starting a happy spell with them. Either way, you might be looking to form some definite concept of gender differences and the potential problem zones of a relationship. One good place to start educating yourself is by learning to think the way guys do. In other words, be aware of the various things that can turn guys off. Here are 7 things that possibly fit in that category.
1. Being Too Possessive
A lot of women, who get deeply involved in their relationship, begin to believe that their partner belongs to them (just as they belong to their partner). In trying to cement and reinforce this bond, they start to ‘chase’ their guy around everywhere and involve themselves in everything he does.
Then there are other women who do the same out of anxiety and insecurity. In order not to lose their guy, they would never want to let him out of sight, would constantly shower him with love and attention and expect him to do the same. Either way, being too possessive is counter-productive. It is a big turn off for a guy, when a woman is constantly looking to him and doting over him.
This may sound a little clichéd, but try to treat guys a little like sand. The more tightly you try to hold them, the faster they are gong to slip out. Remember something: men like to chase; it is in their blood. They want to be the ones winning over their woman, so continue being a challenge for him, and he will stay hooked!
2. Nagging Him
Most women are creatures of detail. We are sensitive, we look at the little things and we try to put things in place. By extension, when we see that our men don’t do these things, we try to teach them how. And then we get irritated when they don’t learn, and we just try harder. Finally, it is so frustrating to have to say the same things again and again that it just drives us up the wall. Just stop for a moment. Have you considered how you’ve been coming across to your guy all this while? He’s probably grudging you for being a nag, and other than irritation, you are probably not provoking any other reaction in him.
You need to keep in mind that someone may not change as much as you want them to, and they will take their own time doing it. Now, the choice is yours: will you badger and irritate them, or be more patient, respectful and understanding?
3. Facial and Body Hair
We know how hairy men are, and you know what? They know it too! That’s why they don’t want to see their women the same way. Different is appealing for them, especially in the female form. At the end of the day, there are a few things that can turn guys off as much as seeing facial and body hair on their women.
4. Cold in Bed
Ever wondered why women fake orgasms? Because men love to feel and hear their women going wild in bed. It strokes his ego and hormones to know that what he is doing is a source of such boundless pleasure to her. Unfortunately, a lot of women have been taught to be shy and inhibited about their sexuality, and they never really let themselves go. What does the man think? That there is something wrong with what he is doing in bed. Definitely one of those things that can turn guys off!
If you feel you have some issues with sex and sexuality, try to be frank with him, and he may just be able to offer you the support you need.
5. Going Silent on Him
Let me tell you that no man likes it when you shut your doors on him. Maybe he has done or said something that has caused you to be hurt or angry, but a simple ‘nothing’ when he asks what the matter is, irritates him no end. He can easily see that you are hurt and upset, and in such circumstances, men like to discuss and resolve the matter, rather than letting it linger and simmer under the surface.
6. Showing How Dumb He is
I have a lot of friends who have made it their pastime to criticize their boyfriends and show how stupid they can be. In fact, I have witnessed complaining matches between women out to prove that their partner takes the cake in dumbness! This may be great fun for you, but have the kindness to let loose with your girlfriends behind your partner’s back, not in front of him, and not to all and sundry. Men have big egos, and those egos take a big hit during these verbal bashing sessions that you consider so harmless.
7. Being Artificial
I have gone on and on about things that can turn guys off, and after all that, this may confound you. However, it is true. In your anxiety to be the right person for him, try not to pretend being someone you are not. Artificialness gets found out easily, and it is a big turn off. The good news is that up to a point men are tolerant to all the things I have mentioned above, and the problem only starts when you go overboard. The idea is to make it a habit to look at things from his perspective too, and you will be just fine.
To conclude, I would suggest that rather than fishing for more things that can turn guys off, channel your efforts towards establishing good communication early on in your relationship. If you are frank and open with each other, you have the best chance of sustaining a healthy relationship. Wouldn't you agree?
Top image source: i.telegraph.co.uk