It can be tough to deal when you and your boyfriend are not talking. It can feel stressful, upsetting, and feel as if things may never be right in your world again. These are some suggestions of things you can do when you and your boyfriend are not talking, to make it easier for you to handle that (hopefully very brief) time period.
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1. Give Him Time to Think
Generally, if you and your boyfriend are not talking, there has been an argument or disagreement of some sort. That can feel very overwhelming to some guys (and to us!). They generally need more time than we do to process their thoughts and emotions after a conflict. So one good thing to do is back off a little when you and your boyfriend are not talking. It's a better option than forcing the issue when he isn’t ready and making the argument bigger.
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It's important to remember that when you and your boyfriend are not talking, it's not necessarily a bad thing. It could just be a sign that he needs some time to think things through. Give him some space and time to reflect on the situation and come to his own conclusions. This will help him to process his thoughts and emotions, and it will give you both a chance to cool off. It's also important to remember that communication is key in any relationship. If you're not talking, it's important to find a way to bridge the gap and get back on the same page.
2. Consider Your Part in the Disagreement
It can be wise to consider your part in the disagreement when you and your boyfriend are not talking. Consider if perhaps you were wrong. Think about if you said things you wish you hadn’t. Taking responsibility for your part in an argument is a mature action. It doesn’t mean it's all your fault, but that you'll own up to your part.
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Reflecting on your own behavior is essential in a conflict situation. Ask yourself if there was a better way to express your feelings. Acknowledge that communication is a two-way street and both parties contribute to the dynamics of a disagreement. By being honest about your actions and words, you set the stage for open dialogue. Remember, a genuine apology can go a long way in bridging the gap. While it may be difficult, admitting your own mistakes can demonstrate your commitment to the relationship and to improving communication going forward.
Frequently asked questions
Sweetie, there could be so many reasons! Maybe he's stressed, upset, or just needs some space. It's important not to jump to conclusions. A little patience can go a long way.
First, try to stay calm. Give it a little time, then reach out with a kind and gentle message. Let him know you're open to talking when he's ready. Sometimes, a little nudge can help.
Effective communication is key! Try to be honest but kind. Express your feelings without blaming or accusing. And most importantly, listen to his side too. It's a two-way street!
That's really tough, I know. Space can be good, but it's not okay to leave you hanging for too long. When the dust settles, have a heart-to-heart about how both of you can handle conflicts better in the future.
Oh, honey, that's hard. If you feel like you can't talk to him, that needs addressing. Maybe start with small, non-confrontational topics and gradually build up to more serious ones. Consider couples' counseling if it's a persistent problem.
3. Think about What You Want to Say
It's also good to think about what you want to say when you and your boyfriend do talk again. Think about the main ideas that you want to share. Here is a little secret, ladies: Endless details will be lost on a man. Think about only the most important points you want to get across, so you're prepared when you do talk.
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Before you dive into the conversation, consider making a mental outline of what you need to communicate. Focus on clarity and brevity, as getting sidetracked by irrelevant details may obscure the message you really want to convey. It's not just about expressing yourself, but also about making sure that your boyfriend understands the essence of what you're saying. This isn't to say you can't delve into specifics if they're important, but the key is to prioritize your thoughts so the conversation is meaningful and productive.
4. Talk to a Friend
It can be good to hash through the situation with a wise friend. They can give you an outside opinion and even bring things to light you may not have considered. Sometimes a friend who's a bit older and more experienced can be helpful in this. Your mom or an aunt may even be an option. Just be sure to choose someone you respect and who seems to know what she's doing in her own romantic relationships.
5. Go Have Some Fun
There's no need to sit around moping and crying when you and your boyfriend aren’t talking. While you may be upset at first, continuing to dwell on the situation can only make you feel worse. Getting out can help get your mind off of it. Meet a girlfriend for lunch or go shopping. The situation may seem much milder after getting out.
6. Let Him Miss You
Here is secret number two, loves. It's good to let your guy miss you a little bit. Of course you can call and text and reach out to him; we're modern women. But sometimes it'[s also good to let him miss you, especially when you're in the middle of an argument.
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When you step back and create space after a spat, it subconsciously reminds him of your value and the joy you bring to his life. This isn't about playing games; it's about giving both of you the time to cool down and reflect. A touch of absence can rekindle appreciation and affection that might be taken for granted in the hustle of everyday routine. So, take this quiet interlude as an opportunity for self-care. Engage in your favorite hobbies, spend time with friends, or just relax. Remember, a little longing can sometimes be the perfect spice to a healthy relationship.
7. Reevaluate the Relationship
It's also wise to take the time you aren’t talking to reevaluate your relationship a little bit. Are there any red flags you should be seeing? Is it a normal disagreement that most couples might have? Or is it an argument you're having because your boyfriend is controlling, selfish or overly jealous? Evaluating the relationship is sometimes important to do.
These are 7 things you can do when you and your boyfriend are not talking. What do you do when you are in this situation? What’s your advice to other girls?
Comments
maggy: I used to be too stressed when we are not talking with my boyfriend.....now I know how to handle him when it come there....thanxs very much for this beautfull article...
Cherry: Get your chores done. Guys distract you and things get piled up.
Nahida: Oh well! Im bit relaxed now . This came to me at perfect time 😔
Elle: I’m dealing with this right now but I’m near the end of a 15 year relationship with a narcissistic jerk . He doesn’t have the ability to take responsibility for his own actions so it’s a waste of time and LIFE. Thank you ❤️Great Article!!!
Lily: Be careful with #4. Especially in a longterm relationship you do not want to be hashing your problems with your man to family or friends. It can make them dislike your guy even if he is great.
Hala: Thank you very much. This article came at the right time
Alissa: #1 no because he always just ignores me and I have to say sorry when I did nothing
Milly: Within 13 months I witnessed the deaths of my beloved mum then dad at home(not COVID). The day dad died, my sister was taken to ICU close to death from COVID. Luckily she survived. I know I’ve emotionally disconnected from everyone. I have suffered grief depression, dissociation, complex grief ever since. My boyfriend of 22 years (we live separately) doesn’t know what to do with my grief stricken change of existence. Our relationship has changed forever & taken a turn for the unknown. I’m seeing a grief psychologist. Any suggestions.
Moniqueiman: Hook up with someone else to pass the time.. Just kidding ;)
KerganC: I am struggling right now with my girlfriend and this really opened my eyes up. I know this is for girls but this did make me see it from her point of view. Thanks heaps ;-)
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