There are some things to keep in mind for cuffing season.
Fall is here, which is my favorite time of the year! However, it’s also cuffing season. This is the time when some people look for a partner to get them through the winter, but they plan to ditch when it warms up again.
Cuffing season isn't necessarily a bad thing, however it’s also a time when all of the fboys/fgirls call their representatives home to play. If you don't know what a representative is, in this regard it is a persons' full potential on display. It’s like they morph into this person who appears to be everything you want. They study what you like and what you don't like so they use that to get your attention, if they want you.
This causes many dangers and frustration for those of us who want long term loyal relationships because people who do this don't want a commitment. They are seasonal boyfriends or girlfriends. The moment when spring rolls around, they start acting up and you are stuck not understanding where you went wrong. Don’t fret. This is normal because shape shifters always have to revert back to their original form. So, you need to know these things to keep in mind for cuffing season.
Be careful if you want something long term, because if this person couldn't rep you in the summer, then they don't deserve to cuddle in the winter. Plain and simple.
It’s important to keep some things in mind so that you don’t fall into the death trap that these narcissistic players plant.
1. Map out the Intention and Ask Where They See the Relationship Going
If they say to get to know you and grow, walk away. If you are wanting something long term, this answer is code for waste your time and then never speak to you again. Why? The answer is so broad and undefined that you'll be confused. Anyone who wants a relationship with you seriously will say something along the lines of I want to be in a relationship with you. I'd like to date you, take you out, get to know you, and you get to know me. Once we’ve established that we like each other well enough then we can take it to next level, but as of right now my focus is on getting there with you. They'll be very clear with their intentions. His intentions are one of the most important things to keep in mind for cuffing season.
2. Is the Effort Returned? PDA a No-go when You Are out in Public?
Is he always making an excuse as to why he can't spend time with you? People make time for what’s important to them. If Barack can make time for Michelle and Jay-Z make time for Beyoncé, no one should have an excuse. I mean come on, Barack was the president of the United States for eight years and still managed to stay married, leaving his term still very much in love with Michelle. He doesn’t want to hold hands in public? This is the ultimate red flag and a sign for you to get out. I understand that some people genuinely don’t like PDA, but if you can’t hold hands while walking down the street, it’s a problem. This can also indicate that you aren’t the only one - sorry to break it to you.
3. How Are You Introduced? Only a Selected Few People Know That You Two Are “dating?”
Are you a secret? Anyone who really wants to be with you will be proud of you. People should definitely notice that you two are together. As a millennial myself I know that social media posts about who a person is involved with is taken very seriously. If he is making you a part of his everyday, you are worthy of a fucking post. I'm not saying everyday they need to post you, but people should notice that you two are together in an intimate relationship. If he doesn't do that, then you more than likely aren't the only one. If he is presenting you to the world on his social media or to a group of people as a "friend," but you've spent time together as if you are in a relationship, get out of that.
4. Actions Speak when the Words Don’t Add up
Back to my last point - fboys and fgirls are good talkers. They talk a good game about what they plan to do and can even paint a future that will never manifest with you. If they are constantly saying they are going to do one thing, but their actions dictate something else, it’s a sign of a lack of consistency and follow through. The icing on the cake is the excuse that comes when you remind him of what he said and how it contradicts his actions. At that point, ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with someone who is like this.
5. What Are Your Intentions?
Ask yourself if you’re ready for a committed relationship. Personally, I think I’m ready for a committed relationship at times and other times I find myself not wanting to put the work in. If you’re single, learn the difference between being lonely and being alone. When you’re lonely you allow yourself to put up with actions that are less worthy than your worth. Learn to be comfortable with yourself being alone fully first before you jump into the dating world. It’s a vicious game of winner takes all in these streets. If you’re comfortable with yourself, you’ll see right past the bullshit these fboys and fgirls try to throw at you.
Stay aware and alert.