After breaking up with someone, it’s usually best to go your separate ways. There might be hard feelings toward each other if the relationship ended badly, and continuing communication can stir these feelings making the situation worse. For that matter, here's a look at seven things you should never ever text your ex.
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1. Terms of Endearment
Texting your ex and using terms of endearment or other cutesy speech is never recommended. The relationship is over, so you shouldn’t be using nicknames when referring to each other. Besides, if you text an ex and include a term of endearment, this can lead to confusion and misunderstandings about your relationship.
2. Being over-friendly in General
Maybe you’re texting an ex because you want him to return an item left at his house. This is perfectly okay. But since you're no longer together, your text message should be straightforward and to the point. Don't start a text with one word like “hi” or “hey.” Say everything you need to say from the beginning and keep the communication brief.
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3. “Why Didn't You Text Me Back?”
If you text an ex and he doesn't respond, don't keep sending new messages. If he doesn't respond, this means he doesn't want to speak with you. Take the hint and move on. Sending repeated messages can make you appear desperate and combative, plus you’re opening yourself up to mockery.
4. Rants Are off the Menu
The relationship is over, so leave the past in the past. It doesn't matter what he did or didn't do, sending a text message and going off on a rant opens yourself up to humiliation. He may share the message with his friends in an attempt to make you look bad. Say everything you need to say when you break up and move on. Even if your ex sends a message trying to instigate stuff, don't feed into him.
5. “I Miss You”
If the situation with your ex didn't end well, don't send a text saying “I miss you.” If you're serious about reconciling, pick up the phone and explain why you were upset, and why you want to make the relationship work. Don’t send a text message out-the-blue and put yourself out there if you don’t know how he feels.
6. “Are You Engaged?”
The word on the street might be that an ex is engaged or in a new relationship. If this is true, it has nothing to do with you. Sending your ex a text message asking about his relationship status might appear like you’re trying to stir up trouble.
7. “What Are You Doing?”
If you're no longer in a relationship with someone, there's no reason to send a text asking this person how he’s doing. The relationship has ended. So unless you have something important to say, don’t communicate, especially if previous attempts at communication didn't end well. Wait until you accidentally run into your ex at a party to ask how he’s doing and catch up.
Moving on after a breakup can be difficult, and if there's resentment or bitterness, you might be tempted to send your ex a mean text or pry into his personal life. But the sooner you let go of the relationship, the sooner you can move on with your life. What else should you never ever text your ex?
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