Forget what all of those rom-coms tell you. Not everything in a relationship is all sunshine and roses. Sometimes, you'll find each other annoying or argue over small stuff like leaving the milk carton out on the counter or whose turn it is to wash the dishes. And that's totally normal and healthy. But when your annoyance or anger turns into a genuine fear of your partner and his reaction to certain situations, that's where you have to draw the line. Sometimes, when you've been in a relationship for a really long time, it can be hard to recognize the tell-tale signs of domestic abuse. If you ever find yourself thinking any of these things, it may be time to walk away.
1. Why Can't I do Anything Right?
It doesn't matter how long you've been in a relationship or known your partner; you are an adult who is fully capable of making your own decisions. You shouldn't have to live in fear of whether you're going to get in trouble for doing something that your partner may not like.
2. If I Don't Get Home on Time, Are You Going to Scream at Me Again?
At first glance, this may seem like a caring gesture; he's only upset because he cares about your safety, right? But this can actually be a sign of a darker, underlying issue. Your partner is possibly controlling.
3. You're Right; No One else Cares about Me or Wants Me
If you are questioning how much you mean to people outside of your relationship, this is a major red flag. It's important to hold on to your ties with your family and friends; he may be slowly isolating you from your loved ones to make you stay.
4. I Know You Didn't Mean What You Said or Did
You shouldn't have to make excuses for someone else's actions. Yes, people may say things that they don't mean when they are stressed out, drunk or angry but that doesn't give anyone a free pass to verbally or physically attack you.
5. You Deserve so Much Better than Me
Your partner should never make you second guess your self-worth. Ever. On the mornings where it may be hard to fully convince yourself of this, repeat this in the mirror: "I deserve to be in a healthy relationship with someone who supports me. I deserve to be happy."
6. Should I Leave?
If you spend more time thinking about life outside of your relationship than in it, it's time to move on. Don't just sweep these feelings under the rug; chances are, you're not satisfied with how things are going for a reason (and haven't been for awhile).
7. I'm Terrified of What Life Will Be like without You
The idea of being alone terrifies us all. But it's not worth it to stay in a relationship that drains you physically, mentally and emotionally.
8. You Need Me and I Need You. I'm Nothing without You
A relationship is only as healthy and strong as the two people involved. There's a difference between relying on each other and feeling like you cannot function without the other person in your life. Think about if he has ever told you that he will harm himself or commit suicide if you ever leave him. That is known as emotional manipulation and is incredibly dangerous.
9. At Least You Never Hit Me
Having the mindset that things could be worse is incredibly dangerous. There's no measuring stick to compare whose situation is unhealthier or more important. It may be hard at first, but you will find your footing again. Take the first step by contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline.