For some reason, most TV show characters know how to handle being around your ex. Ross and Rachel from 'Friends' still hung out together even after they had a bad break up and so did Ted and Robin from 'How I Met Your Mother'! Usually, most of us don't have to be around an ex like the characters of a TV show, but sometimes we do have some relationships that lead to situations where you still have to see your ex after you've broken up. The key is to learn how to handle being around your ex and you will be able to move on.
The first thing you need to do when learning how to handle being around your ex is to be honest with yourself about your feelings. Do you still wish you were with them? Are you happy you're not together anymore? Your feelings will dictate how to act around your ex. If you still wish you were with them but can't be for some reason, try to keep your distance until you no longer feel this way. If you are forced to be together, then acknowledge them, but nothing more. There's nothing worse than being friends with an ex that you still have feelings for. If you're happy you're no longer together, then drill that into your head whenever you're around him. You don't want to fall back into a relationship you weren't happy in!
If you know you are going to be around your ex, dress up a bit. Just make sure not to overdo it though! This is not to try and get him to reconsider dating you, but it's more about reminding yourself that you're gorgeous and are better off without him. If your ex was the one who called it quits, it may even boost your self-confidence if you see him staring at you. Looking good helps you to feel good, and feeling good around your ex is the key to not letting him being around bother you or ruin your day.
Remember how you were back before the two of you dated? Revert back to acting like that when he's around (minus the flirting). Try to put any bitter or upsetting emotions in the back of your mind and just be the awesome girl you are normally! The last thing you want your ex to see is that you are awkward around him because then he will think you still want him. Pretend like he's just another one of your guy friends, but not a close guy friend!
If you do end up having a conversation, don't talk about the breakup. If he leads the conversation in that direction, just say that you don't feel like talking about it. Talk about things that won't lead to an argument like each other's jobs or what TV shows they've been into lately. Try to keep conversation between the two of you within the group and not by yourselves. This way, it will keep you both from talking about the past as it's not really something everyone around wants to hear.
Many times we feel like we need to "one-up" our ex when we see them. This includes laughing really loudly with our friends when they walk by or deliberately flirting with guys when they are near. Try not to do this! First of all, it may come across as desperate to your ex, and secondly, it may just cause more raw feelings between the two of you. If your ex starts doing this to you instead, just ignore it. He's doing it to get a rise out of you so don't give him the satisfaction!
If your are out with an ex and the rest of your friends, try to keep your drinking to a minimum. When you drink too much, you tend to make decisions you are going to regret. Whether that's hooking up with your ex when you really shouldn't have, or saying something stupid that will ruin the relationship you are trying to build up again. Keep it in your head that you are going to have two drinks and nothing more!
An ex of mine was a guy friend in a group of our friends. After a long on and off relationship, we decided it was best to stop being around each other as much. After some time went by, our group started hanging out again, which meant I would have to see him more. After a few hangouts, I grew tired of the tension and awkwardness between us. So the next time I saw him, I pulled him to the side and simply let him know how I was feeling, that I still cared about him as a friend, and that it would be really great if we could just go back to how things were before we started hooking up. He agreed, the awkwardness went away, and we were able to have a good time together again with our friends! Sometimes, sincerity and just talking it out are the best ways to handle being around an ex. That is, as long as you're both on the same page emotion wise!
Keep in mind that every person and every relationship is different. Because of this, you may not always be able to handle being around your ex. I personally have some exes that I can handle being around, and others that I can't. Also, time really does heal all wounds, so if you don't think you can be around each other now, then try again later on. Do you still hang around one of your exes? Are you both cool with it or is it still completely awkward?
Please rate this article