You and your ex had a great run, but in the end things just didn’t work out. If the relationship ended on good terms, you might be thinking about staying friends after the breakup. That is fine, as long as you both are on the same page. Here are a few tips for staying friends with an EX.
1. Are You Really Friends?
First, you need to know that he really does want to be friends with you. There are a few things that may be going on here. He may say he wants to be friends only to avoid hurting your feelings. If he isn’t answering your calls or following through with plans then he may not want to be your friend. On the other hand, he may be too eager to be friends and is really hoping to blur that line between friendship and dating.
2. Check Your Feelings
Now that you know where he stands, you need to evaluate your own feelings. Do you really want to be friends with this guy? Does hanging out with him in a neutral, platonic way sound fun to you? If it does, great! Are you hoping that being friends will give you a chance to flirt and reconnect on a romantic level? If so, slow down.
3. Stay in Groups
At first, maybe you should only get together with groups of friends. This is easy if you already have the same friends. This is harder if your group of friends are all dating each other. Either way, groups are safe.
4. Have an out
Have a talk with your ex and agree to end the friendship or back off if either of you start to feel something for the other. It will make you both feel safer that you have an out if it’s not working the way you planned.
5. Check Your Jealousy
He is your friend. You can’t get upset if he talks to another girl in front of you. Our friends are allowed to date. If he gets jealous of guys talking to you then maybe being friends isn’t a good idea.
6. No Walks down Memory Lane
Don’t ever get caught up in sharing the memories of your relationship. That is the worst thing to do. It can stir up so many emotions and really offset the platonic balance you have going on right now.
7. Rehashing Arguments
Every relationship has its disagreements. Sometimes they get dissolved and all is well and sometimes those arguments are the things that lead to breakups. If you really want to be friends, you have to leave those arguments in the past. Let them go, just like you let go of any romance with your ex.
Have you ever been friends with an ex? How did it work out for you? Tell us about what worked and didn’t work. I would love to hear other people’s advice about being friends with an ex.