Let’s say you’re dealing with a crush on your roommate and you are clueless about how to deal with telling him. Even if your roommate has a girlfriend, it doesn’t mean you won’t end up falling for him anyway. Perhaps he’s an old friend, or you two just have a lot in common. Either way, a crush can end up happening, even if you don’t mean for it to. If he’s single, great! Be sure to let him know how you feel and be sure and tell him you don’t want things to be awkward if he doesn’t feel the same. If he’s taken, read on to find out ways for dealing with a crush on your roommate when dating him isn’t an option right now.
1. Know Your Boundaries
One of the most important ways for dealing with a crush on your roommate is to be sure to know your boundaries. If he is taken, don’t make it a point to put yourself in a situation that might cause problems between you and him and his girlfriend. Don’t be overly affectionate with him or do things that only a girlfriend would do for him, and be sure to keep physical boundaries within your house or apartment. Be sure to keep emotional boundaries set as well, such as not getting too emotionally intimate with him, which will only cause tons of issues that make the problem harder to deal with.
2. Be Respectful
This can be tough, especially if you hate his significant other, but try your best to be respectful of your roommate, his girlfriend and their relationship. Look at it as you would anyone else’s relationship. Do you want to be the person that stirs up trouble or causes a breakup that could lead to a reunion later? I don’t think so. Don’t be that girl he leaves her to be with, or the one he cheats on her to be with. It’s not fair to him, her or you, in the long run.
3. Remove Temptations
If you can’t seem to shake the emotions and are just having really tough time dealing with your crush on your roommate, remove the temptations. Either find another roommate, or start avoiding being around the apartment too much when he’s there if it is emotionally tough for you. If you share a bathroom, remove the temptation to brush your teeth while he’s showering, and don’t be around when he gets out of the shower. Sleep with your door shut, and try to segregate yourself as much as possible.
4. Be His Friend
You should focus on being his friend, not his awkward roommate that has a crush on him. Remember, first and foremost, friends respect each other. Remember that by being his friend, he deserves your respect and if you can’t have a relationship with him as his girlfriend, why not focus on having an awesome friendship with him? He can still be a part of your life, just in a different way. It may be hard, but is still a great option. If you find it too hard to be close to him as his friend, then consider getting a different roommate so you don’t subject yourself to the pain of seeing him with someone else.
5. Don’t Bash His Girl
Whatever you do, do not bash your crush’s girlfriend! This won’t get you anywhere; I promise. It may even make things worse between you and your roommate. Even if his girlfriend is rude or obnoxious, he is dating her because he wants to be in a relationship with her, and certainly won’t appreciate you criticizing her. Even if you think she treats him wrong, don’t be the one who bashes her in front of him.
6. Start Dating
If you can’t be with your roommate, put yourself out in the dating world and see who else is out there! Who said there was only one guy you could end up falling for? Start dating and open yourself up to a world of single crushes instead of someone who is already taken!
7. Tell Him How You Feel
Lastly, if none of the above options work, it may be best to tell him how you feel, but be prepared. When you tell your roommate how you feel, you’ll need to expect a few possibilities for what could happen. First of all, he could feel awkward around you from now on, which makes things weird living together. Secondly, he could decide that it might be best to get a new roommate. Thirdly, he may genuinely appreciate you being honest and tell you he thinks a lot of you, but still tell you he doesn’t feel the same. Lastly, he could hit on you, which makes him a a cheat, which you shouldn't want to date anyway! If he’s not dating someone else, telling him may be the best option, though it could still open up a world of possible situations. If he’s with someone, telling him will definitely make things more difficult for you, but it may be best to get it off your chest and possibly move out. You’ll need to weigh all possible decisions before going this route, for your sake and his.
I’ve fortunately never dealt with a crush on a roommate, but know many people that have. Have you ever struggled with this issue? How did you deal?