Dealing with an unwanted crush is a dilemma that just about everyone has to figure out in their lifetime. In this common scenario, someone is crushing on you but you don’t share his feelings. If you are facing this problem in your life, I’m going to share some good ways of dealing with an unwanted crush.
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1. Acknowledge His Feelings
One of the first things to do when dealing with an unwanted crush is to acknowledge the other person’s feelings. If he tells you he likes you, have a bit of compassion for the guy and be polite. Tell him that you are flattered that he thinks so fondly of you and give him a general compliment such as you think he’s a great guy. The compliment will lessen the blow of rejection that you are about to deliver.
2. Share Your Feelings
Make your feelings about the whole situation known to him. Let him know that you don’t share the same romantic feelings that he has for you. If he’s a casual acquaintance that you don’t see much, you could tell him you have a boyfriend or aren't interested in dating anyone. If it’s a co-worker, tell him that you don’t want to jeopardize your job in any way and that you aren't comfortable dating someone you work with.
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3. Unwanted Crush is a Good Friend
When a good friend starts crushing on you, you might feel very awkward whenever you are in his presence. Even if you don’t want to hurt your friend, its important that he understands that you value your friendship but aren't interested in anything more. It’s going to hurt him when you reject him, but its better than leading him on. Once he knows the truth about your feelings toward him, he can move on.
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It is important to communicate your feelings in a respectful and honest way. Be clear and direct that you are not interested in anything more than just being friends. Let your friend know that you still value your friendship and that you don't want to hurt them. It might be difficult to tell them the truth, but it is the best way to ensure that your friendship is not damaged. If your friend is still having difficulty moving on, suggest he seek help from a mental health professional. It is important to be understanding and supportive of your friend during this process.
4. Control Your Flirtatious Side
Be careful how you act around the other person. If you are naturally flirtatious, try not to flirt with him because it will send him mixed signals which is the last thing you want to do. You might view it as harmless flirting but he might think that you are beginning to like him. If there’s no way you would ever date this guy, then don’t give him any hope that he might have a chance with you in the future.
5. Avoid Him
One of the things I always hated after telling someone I wasn't interested is the awkwardness between us. If its possible, avoid the other person for a few weeks so the tension fades a bit between you. He might think it's strange that you are avoiding him but it’s better than having awkward conversations with him. Try to avoid any places that he goes to so that you don’t accidentally run into him.
6. Stay Friendly
On the other hand, if you want to remain friends, don’t avoid him. Continue to treat him as a friend. It’s going to take some time for your friendship to go back to normal but eventually his crush on you will subside. Most crushes do subside in intensity with time, especially when the other person doesn't show any signs of interest.
7. Blind Dates
If you want to go a step further, play matchmaker. Think of someone like a single friend or an acquaintance that you feel would make a great match for the other person. Tell your unwanted crush that you want to fix him up on a blind date. Setting him up on a date will reinforce the fact that you really have no interest in dating him so he shouldn't waste his time crushing on you.
Now you know a few helpful tips that can help you navigate your way out of this tricky dilemma. So ladies have you ever had to deal with an unwanted crush? Feel free to share your stories.
Comments
Morgan: thank you
Morgan: ok so this is what i went through but when i went through it i ended up liking him and dated him for a day. I then broke up with him because he was getting way too clingy so now he is just being a very big butthole even though he still likes me and its very confusing.
charlottebirchh: Omg one of my best friends is a boy and I think he likes me if she does that will make it so aukward
Careka: I know this girl who says she really likes her friends boyfriend. Awkward
Aimi: ignore him or give some hints so that it less hurt. but if it didnt work, i will totally avoid him.
Kristen: Ok a guy likes me and I have given him hints that I'm not interested in a nice way. Some how he is not getting the message.. I try to avoid him, but he always waits for me after class to walk me to the next. When I try to get out early he just catches up or calls me and says hey. I have no idea how to get rid of him in a nice way. :(
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