If you are looking for a few tips on dealing with jealousy in a long distance relationship, I can help because I can totally relate. I’ll never forget the first time I heard some unidentified girl at my boyfriend’s apartment and instantly felt sick to my stomach. Normally I’m not an insecure girlfriend, but when the love of my life is thousands of miles away and I heard a flirtatious female giggle in the background, my coffee-colored eyes turned an extremely livid shade of green without warning. Fortunately for my own emotional well-being and the sake of our relationship, I learned a couple of helpful tips on dealing with jealousy in a long distance relationship that I’m going to share with you below.
1. Examine Your Feelings of Jealousy
One of the best things to do when you are dealing with jealousy in a long distance relationship is to analyze your feelings to determine the reasons for it. Ask yourself if your jealous thoughts are based on real proof or is it your over-active imagination. Write your feelings down because it may help you sort them out along with seeing things objectively. If you feel that you have actual proof, its time to have a talk with your partner.
2. Discuss Your Jealous Feelings
Share your feelings of jealousy with your partner. I know that admitting to him that you are feeling jealous is a difficult thing to do, but it can help you find peace of mind. Hopefully, he can reassure you that he is still crazy in love with you. If he makes you feel worse after telling him how you feel, re-examine if this is someone that you should be with. If he cared about how you feel, he would try to calm your fears about losing him.
3. Replace Jealous Thoughts
Once jealous thoughts pop up, they seem to feed off of one another, making the feelings of insecurity worse. Replace jealous thoughts with positive thoughts about your relationship. Think of all the great memories you have shared with him. Think of all the reasons why you love your relationship as well. Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can prevent you from viewing all of his actions through a distorted lens of jealousy that can make you lose control of your emotions.
4. Accept You Can’t Control His Actions
Understand that just because he is in a relationship with you doesn't mean he is your property to control. He has free will and makes decisions based upon many factors such as his wants and needs just like you do. Have a conversation about what you consider cheating and then trust him to honor your relationship. Never try to control him because it won’t work and it’s a fatal relationship mistake.
5. Leave the Interrogations to the Police
Unless you have actual proof that something is fishy, avoid interrogating him. If you constantly torment your partner with accusations and a thousand questions about his whereabouts, it actually will result in the opposite of what you want to happen. Instead of making your boyfriend want to hang out with you or call you, he will want to create as much distance as possible. Once he starts distancing himself and drifting away, the relationship is in serious trouble.
6. He Sees through It
If your irrational thoughts and wild imagination are making you text terrorize him and call him several times whenever he is with certain people, it's best to put down the phone. The reason you have the urge to make constant contact with him stems from feelings of helplessness. The same is true if you are hacking into his e-mail or his Facebook account just to confirm your suspicions. He sees through this type of irrational behavior regardless of your excuse and it screams to him that you don’t trust him.
7. Keep Relationship Fun and Enjoyable
Keep your relationship strong so anyone that tries to make a play at your significant other, doesn't have a chance of replacing you no matter how hard they try. There are no guarantees when it comes to love, but if you can make your emotional bond stronger even though you are physically apart, it increases the chances of you guys staying together. Try a variety of virtual activities that you both enjoy so you can spend quality time together such as gaming, movie dates, or listening to music.
If you allow your jealousy to spiral out of control, you can easily sabotage a relationship. Remember, each time you unleash accusations at your partner, you slowly annihilate your relationship as the foundation of trust is chipped away little by little until there is nothing left. So ladies do you have other tips on dealing with jealousy in a long distance relationship?