From time to time we all need a refresher course on how to be a good partner. Emotions are high in relationships and sometimes we act out of character. Plus, it can feel as if we are in a rut or are going in dizzy circles with our partners. However, these not so good times are normal and to be expected so don’t feel bad if you’re dealing with drama in your relationship at the moment. On that note, to keep the bad times at a minimum here are a few suggestions on how to be a good partner.
1. Give and Take
You’re wondering how to be a good partner in a relationship? Remember that it’s a give and take dynamic. You can’t expect anything if you’re not willing to provide your partner the same things, such as affection, trust, and respect, or else it's a double standard. Remember your partner is a human too and needs all the same things you need.
2. Speak Your Mind
Most likely your partner cannot read minds so be honest, blunt, and straight forward about your thoughts, and feelings. But, don’t be rude, aggressive, or abrasive about it either. Anyways, you’ll find when there is open communication in your relationship you’ll be on the same page moving in the same direction together. More importantly, there won’t be any resentment between the two of you or a build up of bottled emotions.
3. Be Accountable
No one is perfect so it’s natural that both you and your partner will be mistakes. However, when you do be accountable for your actions. Playing the blame game is just a cat and mouse game where no one wins. Admit to your mistakes, sincerely apologize, learn your lesson, and move on!
4. Benefit of the Doubt
Unless there have been issues with lying in the past give your partner the benefit of the doubt. If they say they didn’t mean to do something then take their word for it. After all, if he/she hasn’t done anything to betray your trust beforehand why jump the gun and turn he/she in to the bad guy?
5. Leave Your Baggage behind
One time I was reversing my car out of a parking spot and I hit the car behind me. Ever since then I have been ultra careful when reversing my car and sometimes I brake halfway because I’m positive I’ll cause an accident. Now, imagine how someone who has been cheated on, abused, or got a broken heart in a past relationship must feel? How must he/she approach new relationships? Probably with a lot of caution and it’s totally understandable. However, bringing baggage from an old relationship in to a new one already sets the new relationship up for failure. Like I said in point #2 be honest about what you’re feeling but like I mentioned in point #4 you need to give your partner the benefit of the doubt that he/she won't do the same.
Making your partner or your relationship your entire life is not a good idea. Not only will you seclude yourself from your friends and family, but you’ll also be losing a lot of your independence. In the beginning of many new relationships it’s hard to pry yourself from your partner but it’s important to find a good balance in all areas of your life or soon you’ll find your social calendar empty and you becoming overly dependant on your partner.
If you have a partner you should look at him/her as an equal not as someone who want to change or control. Give your partner the same respect, trust, love, and companionship you would expect your partner to give to you. Also, don’t talk down to him/her or point fingers. Most importantly, don’t treat him/her the way you or your past partners like to be treated, treat your partner the way he/she wants to be treated.
Relationships are a lot of work and become more difficult over time. But anything worth something in life is not easy. In times of stress, depression, or heated moments stay cool, calm, and collected and you’ll get out of the sticky times alive with your partner by your side. What are some other ways we can all be a good partner to our significant other?