7 Tips on How to Deal with in-laws That Don't like You ...

Alicia

7 Tips on How to Deal with in-laws That Don't like You ...
7 Tips on How to Deal with in-laws That Don't like You ...

Many of you are looking for tips on how to deal with in-laws that don’t like you because you have found yourself in this position. It is definitely a difficult and hurtful position to be in. It is hard to understand why there has to be such friction. But if there is, you need to turn your focus to learning how to deal with in-laws that don’t like you so that it doesn’t disrupt your life and you can have peace again.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:

1

Make Peace with the Fact

One of the very first things to realize when you are figuring out how to deal with in-laws that don’t like you is that you can’t make them like you. You can try to let them see you for the beautiful person that you are but they may still miss that. They may dislike you no matter what you do. If that is the situation you are facing, you need to accept that. Make peace with the fact that you are dealing with someone who may never like you and that is okay; it is their problem.

2

Realize It Doesn’t Matter

Do not make the mistake of allowing an in-law that doesn’t like you become important in your life. They aren’t. Yes, they are a member of your husband’s family. But your husband chose you for his wife and you are his life partner. This supersedes all other human relationships. Many times this is why an in-law doesn’t like you; they know that your importance is greater than their own in your husband’s life.

3

Allow Your Husband to Deal with Them

One of the best ways to deal with in-laws that don’t like you is to just not. Why should you? They aren’t your family. Allow your husband to deal with them; after all, they are really his problem because they are his family. Many times this will help keep things under control because most in-laws don’t want to alienate their blood family member. Additionally, once in-laws find out that your husband will not tolerate you being mistreated, often the mistreatment stops.

***

Involving your husband offers a buffer between you and challenging in-laws. By approaching the situation together, it becomes a partnership issue, rather than yours alone. It’s important that you both present a united front, reinforcing the message that disrespect towards you won't be tolerated. This strategy can often lead to a more harmonious family dynamic, as it encourages in-laws to reconsider their behavior if they wish to maintain a positive relationship with their son. Your husband's support is crucial; it not only upholds boundaries but also affirms the solidarity of your marriage in the face of adversity.

4

Confront the Situation

This is a recommendation I give only if you have no other option. Allowing your husband to deal with them is a much better option but there are times an in-law may corner you and you have no choice but to confront the situation. Even then, I would try to avoid a confrontation unless what you are dealing with is open and blatant mistreatment. Then, you may just have to stand your ground and let your in-laws know that you will not be run over. Sometimes after in-laws see they cannot push and manipulate you, they back off.

5

Be Kind

Two wrongs don’t make a right. Just because you have in-laws that are unkind does not mean you have to respond the same way. You have probably heard it said that you can kill others with kindness and that is true. It disarms them and catches them off guard. If you are lucky, this may even help them learn to like you.

***

Being kind goes beyond mere politeness; it shows strength of character. When tensions are high, maintaining a calm and positive demeanor can be transformative. Show understanding and compassion, even when it's not reciprocated. Compliments and thoughtful gestures can slowly break down barriers. Remember, being kind isn't about being submissive; it's about choosing a higher path and setting a standard for how you deserve to be treated. Keep your integrity intact, and even if they don't change, you'll have the peace of mind knowing you've done your best.

6

Let It Go

You know, it isn’t uncommon to have in-laws that don’t like you. It happens. It is not worth getting yourself all upset over or carrying a grudge over. Let it go. Look at it from the viewpoint that they are the ones missing out. They are missing out on knowing what a wonderful person you are.

***

Holding onto negativity only casts a shadow over your own happiness. Practicing forgiveness and embracing a sense of inner peace can often be more for your benefit than theirs. By releasing the weight of their disapproval, you allow yourself the freedom to flourish in your own life, unfettered by the burden of seeking their acceptance. Remember, their reluctance to see your value does not diminish your worth. Keep shining brightly and focus on the love that does surround you.

7

Rest in Your Husband’s Love for You

Lastly, don’t let in-laws steal your confidence. Your husband loves you or he would not have married you. Rest in that love and remind yourself that he chose you for his life partner. Your in-laws know how much you mean to your husband; that may very well be what is driving them crazy. But that is their problem to sort out, not yours.

In-law problems can be frustrating but they don’t have to be that big of a deal. Have you dealt with in-law problems? How have you overcome them?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

A big time thanks for sharing this.... Really needed it.. Now I no how to deal wid it...

Bravo!

Great advice. Me and husband are newly married and his mother & sister are already a problem for us. I see it like this, their both unhappy with their lives and marriages so they try to intrude into me and my husbands happy marriage. At any rate, I've accepted if they don't like me, who gives a flying flap. Me and my husband are our own family now.

Yoga helps

My in-laws have hated me for over 25 years. They even offered my husband a huge sum of money to get a divorce from me, not once, not twice but three times! We're still happily married. I ignore them. I tried most of the things in your article. Their loss!

My future Grand daughter In Law was a sweetheart to me for a year. About 7 months ago she started being short with me, ignoring me, won’t look me in the eyes. I have confronted her nicely about what I could have done. But even though she says I did nothing she continues to behave this way. It really hurts. I want to just not let this bother me but it hurts. I only have one grandchild and he has always said I am more his second mom. I am trying to figure out how to not make this about me, but I feel very sad.

** give

These seem so simple to live by. But my husband still feels tugged in his parents direction. He was blind to how, no only his parents, but his brothers as well, treat me. I'm sure from their perspective they aren't. However, when his mother pulled me aside during the reception to tell me she finally feels at peace with us getting married, what am I supposed to do with that? I just don't know... we haven't even been married a year and I'm just so unhappy anytime his parents get mentioned, if we have to get together with his family and/or brothers.

I made the mistake of making it an importance that they didn't like me . The funny thing is they were all acting like they didn't like to me to cover up they're own endeavors . My husband never said anything and let them hurt me over and over . After 26 years I learned that I don't care what they feel anymore and they can act however they want . It's funny when they complain about their in laws treating them ways or they're child's ways . They think that The silence makes it ok . Not acknowledging what they've done . It has hurt because I was so innocent . Now that I'm older - I have no respect for them . I will not request off work for their family get togethers and I don't care if I'm talked about anymore .

Glad I don't have this problem

Related Topics

strategies for dealing with insults how to react to bullies expecting a lot people who dont respect boundaries loose it or lose it kind and thoughtful top tips on being kind what to do when you hurt someone feelings behave properly meaning what to do with mother in law

Popular Now