When you first get into a relationship, it's very easy for that person to suddenly become the centre of your universe but I would like to share some thoughts on how to not let your life revolve around him. It can be easy to find that you are spending all of your time with this one person and sacrificing yourself as a person to please them, but if you want to know how to not let your life revolve around him, read on.
1. Have Your Own Friends
If you're thinking about how to not let your life revolve around him then one of the ways is to ensure you have your own friends. If you have the same circle of friends then this might be a little bit more difficult, but it's important to have some alone time with close friends to bond and have fun. This will also mean that you will have some funny stories to share when you're together!
2. Have Your Own Hobbies
It's also important to have your own hobbies and interests. It's great to share interests as a couple but you also need some time on your own to unleash your creative side. Having your own hobbies will help you grow as a person and develop your own confidence, making you less codependent.
3. Build Your Confidence
Building your confidence is key to ensuring your life doesn't revolve around this one person, as it can be very unhealthy for you both. Remember, you are your own person and are not defined by your significant other, so it's important to ensure that you're confident in yourself. There are many ways you can build your confidence. Having your own interests is one way and if you're at college, having a part-time job is a great way to develop your confidence too.
4. Make Your Own Plans
Make your own plans and of course include him, but don't be devastated or worry if he doesn't want to go or can't make it. Naturally you want to spend as much time together as possible but it's important to ensure that you're happy enough to be without him and your world doesn't fall apart as soon as he says he can't spend the evening or day with you.
Make sure you don't play games because that will result in confusion and heart-ache. It's best to be honest with the other person and explain what you want from a relationship. Although you want to be with them, you don't want your whole life to revolve around them all the time. Explain that you love the time you spend together but you also want to remain independent and self-sufficient.
6. Get Some Perspective
Of course, this person is super-special to you and you probably can't remember life before them, but it's important to get some perspective. Remember, you are a strong person and are perfectly capable of functioning on your own, so don't think that you have to do everything just to please them or in case they leave you. If they do leave because of that then they probably weren't right for you anyway!
7. Have Your Own Goals
It's important to have your own goals about the future. If it's serious, you may be thinking about settling down in the future. This is great but remember, sometimes even the most refined plans don't turn out the way you anticipated, so have your own goals rather than ones which revolve around this one person. If you want to go to college or university, remember to think about which one offers the best course for you, rather than choosing it because your significant other is going there.
Having your own space as individuals is vital in a relationship, as it makes for a healthy partnership based on trust and a respect for each other. What other hints and tips to you have for ensuring that your life doesn't revolve around one person?