If you're heartbroken over the loss of a relationship, knowing a few tips on how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back can help you move on. One of the most painful times in life is when you are still deeply in love and the other person announces that he isn’t in love with you anymore. This brutal news may come as a complete shock or it may be something that you may have sensed long before he officially ended the relationship. The best thing you can do is respect their decision and look towards the future with these tips on how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back.
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1. It Takes Time
At this point, your heart and your mind are at complete war with each other. Since you are still in love with him, your heart is going to replay all the happiest moments in the relationship trying to convince you that it can be that way again. On the other hand, your mind is trying to comprehend that his feelings have changed and there is nothing you can do. It takes time for your heart and mind to accept the reality and get in alignment with each other. One of the best tips on how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back is to give yourself time to heal.
2. Grieve the Loss of What Could Have Been
Allow yourself time to grieve over the loss of a relationship. After a breakup, its normal to feel anger, confusion, betrayal and sadness. As you process those difficult emotions, remember that you deserve to be with someone that is crazy in love with you. It’s better that she ended it instead of stringing you along.
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3. Force Yourself to Socialize
Once you have given yourself some time to mourn the loss of the relationship, force yourself to socialize with others. The last thing you want to do is stay at home and be alone with your thoughts. The more time you spend alone, the more you will think about your ex which will only create intense I-miss-you feelings. The best way to overcome those depressing feelings is to be around people that you enjoy hanging out with.
4. Set Goals for Yourself
Reflect on your life and set some personal goals for yourself. Create goals like learn a new language, purchase a new car, get a promotion at work, move to the other side of the country or embark on an entirely new career. Plan out all the steps that are needed to achieve those goals. Now that you are single, you have more time to create the life that you want.
5. Go No Contact
Avoid any contact with your ex. Delete him from any social networking site so you don’t have constant notifications about the latest news in his life. Even though you may be curious, learning information such as who he is dating now is detrimental to your emotional health. Delete his contact information from your cell and e-mail so you aren’t temped to contact him.
6. Remove Emotional Triggers
Avoid triggers that remind you of your ex and the relationship. So if you have old e-mails, pictures of the two of you, voicemails or text messages, hit the delete button. Going through and ruminating about happier times when you were both in love is pretty much self-torture. It also creates major setbacks in your healing.
7. Start Dating Again
Although you may not be completely over your ex, try dating again. Don’t put pressure on yourself to find someone that will replace your ex. The goal is to flirt, enjoy someone else’s company and simply have fun. As your heart is healing from the breakup, you will meet some awesome people until you find the right person for you. Or you just might find that you prefer being single than to deal with a relationship.
Embrace being single and everything that it has to offer while you try to move on with your life. Do you have other tips to share that helped you move on?
Comments
Hanane: No contact day 7 ( hope I can have more)
Hannah: Hi girls, this article is fab. Long story short, Alex and I went to school together, known eachothet 12yrs close friends then didn't speak for about 5 years, in the mean time I got married and had a baby who is now 4, and he was in a long term relationship, it so happened that we both parted from our partners at the same time and we got in contact. A rocky start where he said we should just be friends, but then we became more serious and have been pretty much bf gf, it was so utterly perfect, with our history and so much in common, we had the most amazing time together and it was so idyllic. Until it came to my son, he mentioned a while ago that he was struggling with the idea of taking on such responsibility at 23, but he seemed to just leave it, then Saturday my son got in the way of our plans and Alex has said that he can't do it anymore. He is being so selfish to throw away everything we had and how perfect it was. I understand that a child is a big responsibility, but when he has said before how he knows there is no one as perfect for him as me, I thought he could see past it. Now it's over and I'm heartbroken. I haven't just lost a lover, but I've lost a long time friend. I'm trying to cut contact. I said to him I hope he doesn't come to realise what he could have had when it's too late and regret his decision. And he made a stupid comment like 'I'm sure I will in a few months time'. Utterly broken at this point and can't seem to get myself out of it. I know it's only been a day. But god I feel BAD!
Justin: Yeah I was very happy, and have a young son, who had just turned 3, now he's 4 yo.and one day, she said she didn't love me anymore, and that was that. I also went through that pain, anger, looking back with tinted glasses. But now I have come through the other side, stronger, single, and I have my son for half the week, Inc weekends to fit round my job, so I feel very blessed that I still spend a lot of time with my son. I'm 41 and feel the future is bright for me and my son.
Brian: i am going through this. Supported her through cancer, her dads cancer, her mothers brain bleeds, unexpected pregnancy for us and it was a hard 4 years but we finally made it through and she thinks dating co-worker and also a client is whats best....devistated but processing. she really didnt deserve me.
hwannie: ohhh, so so so very painful. :/
Merarri: Yes everyone is welcome here. Congrats to all ladies and guys doing No Contact at the moment. I know how tough it is but you will discover so many things about yourself along the way. I'm here to encourage you to stop by whenever you feel like you are going to contact your ex. You can lean on us here and get emotional strength when you need it most! Good luck everyone!
Candice: No contact day 4
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