We’ve all been in a situation where we can’t be with the guy we like and instead go in search for tips to get over a guy. It’s not always the least painful process, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be a relatively quick process! Whether you’re simply reminiscing on the agonizing days of trying to get over a guy you can’t be with, or are currently in the situation and looking for tips to get over a guy, I assure you that something on this list will resonate with you.
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1. Acknowledge and Accept Why You Can’t Be with Him
This is one of the first steps to truly getting over a guy you can’t be with, and one of the most important tips to get over a guy. Acknowledge why you can’t be with him. Maybe he’s in a relationship. Maybe he’s completely shut you out. There are a nearly infinite amount of reasons why you can’t be with the person you want to be with. Acknowledge and accept your reason, and moving on will be worlds easier.
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Understanding the reality of your situation is a critical step towards emotional freedom. It involves a difficult, yet necessary, process of self-reflection and emotional reckoning. Confront the truth of the circumstances with courage. If he has made it clear that a future together isn't possible, respecting his decision and focusing on your own well-being is essential. Remember, acceptance is not about giving up, but rather about opening the door to new possibilities for happiness and love that are better aligned with your life's path.
2. Try Something New
It sounds cliché, but take up a hobby. I’ve personally found that the hobbies I enjoy the most are hobbies that I loved as a kid. I loved to read as a kid, and I’ve recently rediscovered that I still love it. If you loved to paint growing up, try painting again. Maybe you played an instrument really well while you were growing up, try it out again. Whether it’s a new hobby or a recently remembered hobby, finding something to do will help get your mind off of the guy you can’t be with.
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Diving into a fresh activity not only revitalizes your spirit but also opens doors to new social circles, potentially leading to friendships or support networks that can offer comfort and distraction. If your pastime of choice is solitary, like writing or jogging, it can still provide a therapeutic outlet for your emotions, channeling your energy into personal growth. Remember, the objective is to build a life so full and satisfying that the absence of that guy becomes merely a footnote. Embrace the process of learning and self-discovery, and watch as it transforms your perspective.
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3. Stop Talking to Him
Cut him out of your life as best as you can. Don’t text or call him, and if he texts or calls you, be polite, but don’t go out of your way to be overly friendly. You need space to heal yourself. Many people often argue that you have mutual friends and it’s nearly impossible to avoid him. If that’s the case, try to avoid some events you know he’ll be at, and don’t spend a substantial amount of time focused on him at the events you do both end up at. Eventually, as your feelings start to dissipate, you’ll notice that it’s easier and easier to hang out with him and you won’t have to cancel so many plans!
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Additionally, when you are ready to interact in social settings, maintain healthy boundaries. Remember, putting yourself first is crucial during this healing period. It may be tempting to slip into old patterns of behavior around him, but keep interactions brief and stay focused on your well-being. Surround yourself with supportive friends who understand your journey. Over time, you might find that the distance you've created can evolve into a comfortable space, allowing you to redefine your relationship with him in a way that's detached from any romantic feelings.
4. Let Yourself Be Upset
It’s okay to mourn your relationship, even if it may not have ever been a real relationship. Give yourself some time to “grieve.” It will completely streamline the entire process of getting over him. A lot of times, people try to bottle up their feelings when they’re trying to get over a guy. Whether you prefer to be upset in the company of your friends or on your lonesome, make some time for yourself to be upset over the end of a relationship with someone who was important to you.
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Acknowledging your emotions is a critical step towards healing. Allow yourself the space to cry, rage, or sit with the heartache. Suppressing feelings only leads to them resurfacing later, potentially in more destructive ways. During this time, avoid judging yourself for the intensity or duration of your feelings. Remember, healing isn't linear, and each person’s journey is unique. Take comfort in knowing that feeling deeply is part of what makes us human, and your capacity for such emotions is also what will allow you to move past them in time.
5. Put Your Feelings to Good Use
Try to do something constructive with your feelings. If you’re a writer, write about what’s going on, whether in the situation or simply what you’re feeling. If you’re a songwriter, try to get a few good songs out of the experience. No matter what your passion is, you can probably find something constructive to get out of what may currently feel like a horrible situation.
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Emotions can be incredibly powerful and often seek an outlet. If you're feeling hurt or frustrated, consider channeling those emotions into a project or hobby that resonates with you. Perhaps you're a painter; let the canvas capture your emotional journey. Maybe you enjoy volunteering; helping others can be a profound way to heal yourself. Transform pain into empowerment, and remember that every brush stroke, every note, every word can represent a step towards recovery and personal growth. It's in these moments of creation and giving that we often find our most profound strength and resilience.
6. Stop Creeping
It’s not always easy to stop creeping via the internet on the guy you can’t be with, but it’s necessary. Whether you decide to stop cold turkey or you just gradually find yourself checking up on him less and less, it is necessary for you to stop internet creeping to get over him. If you’re still searching for his Facebook and Twitter accounts everyday, you’re not over him. If you need to, you can even hide from your Facebook newsfeed. If you need an extra boost of motivation to quit, just know that Facebook keeps a log of every person you search for. It’s only visible to you, but finding that log is not always a pretty sight, and can easily get you to stop web stalking the guy you can’t be with.
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Breaking the habit of cyber-stalking is a liberation. Consider blocking or unfollowing him; out of sight means out of mind. Remember that every minute spent revisiting his profile is a minute not spent on your own growth and happiness. Engage in activities that uplift you and remember, healing is a journey. It's okay to slip up, just make sure to redirect your energy towards your own wellbeing each time. Self-love and respect grow when you consciously choose to focus on what is truly beneficial for you in the long run.
7. Find Someone New
It sounds so ridiculous and stupid, but sometimes you just have to find someone new. Whether it’s something as simple as an unattainable celebrity crush, or someone new asks you out, sometimes all it takes to move on is having someone new in your life. There may even be someone who’s been under your nose this whole time who you’ve never noticed!
Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve had to get over someone because you couldn’t be with him? How did you get over him? Which of these tips did you use? Let me know in the comments!
Comments
Jessie: So wait, I'm in 9th grade and I've like this guy since 1st grade and I thought this year he would ask me out because we hang out a lot. The only thing is I can't avoid him because all my other friends hang out with him. So it won't be easy to just find another guy. Any tips to help me forget him?
Janelle: Another tip: know that you deserve better
Marie: This is kind of freaky because they spoke about me but I'm over it and moving on
Abigail: @Janelle, No one "deserves" a relationship. you have to earn it
Sophia: I'm in love with my best friend. But I don't want to be. Help me
Kubra: Check what's on his mind before you let him in... I can say this because I've assumed many a times and never heard my intuition and believed that it'll all be ok... But it can never be - he will shut you down, and you may need this blog again. Thanks for writing.
Anime: I think this is for what I need to do with the guy I like but I don't know if it's the right or wrong thing to do since I met him online.
Lauren: This helps a lot good to know what I'm feeling has been experienced by others as well
Nadine: I've find one guy with "eye technique" which i saw here. Haha. He added me on fb and everything but he's in relationship and he said he'll call me out. I'm actually kinda hurt and I didn't talk to him today when I saw him but i do have feelings. And have no idea what to doS
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