I’ve been dating on and off for a while now, but at the very start, after a couple of dating fails, me and my two best friends decided that I needed to follow some dating rules to keep me on track and so I decided to think some up. I had to learn the hard way, so hopefully these dating rules for dating a new guy will help you in the future…
1. DON'T BE TOO NICE
This doesn't mean be a total b*tch, it means be honest. If you go on a date with a guy and you don't feel like there's anything between you, don't agree to keep seeing him because you feel bad rejecting him. It also means that if a guy continually messes you about or upsets you don't just take it - tell him it's not ok.
2. FIND out WHAT HE WANTS ASAP
You don't want to be totally into a guy and basically start planning a future with him to find out 2 months down the line that he never actually wanted anything serious in the first place. Get him to lay his cards down on the table as soon as possible to see if you guys are on the same page.
3. THINK about WHAT YOU WANT
We can spend so long worrying about what he wants that we find that we don't spend any time thinking about what WE want. Are you ready for a new relationship? What are you looking for through dating? The same way you want him to be honest with you, you need to know what you want and tell him.
4. DON'T SLEEP with HIM BLINDLY
Sex is/isn't a huge deal depending on your own opinion but if a guy really means something to you and having sex with him is important to you then don't sleep with him without knowing what the score is - is this going to turn into a relationship or is it casual? Trust me, it'll save you a lot of hurt if you find out beforehand.
5. DON'T LET HIM CONSUME YOUR THOUGHTS
Guilty as charged. When you really like someone it's hard to stop them from flitting around your mind all the time. This means you're getting invested though and early on this isn't the wisest move. Try and distract yourself so he doesn't end up being part of every moment of your day because it's really annoying!
6. DON'T STALK HIM on SOCIAL
Tempting, I know, and a bit of a social stalking is fine, but it's also a little invasive and you might find something that you don't like and judge him on that, or you may see pictures of his ex and start comparing. Not healthy. Don't base your opinion of him or his past on his social profiles, get to know the real him by dating him some more.
7. LIMIT OBSESSING and FANTASISING
Again, very tempting. A bit of daydreaming never hurt anyone but don't spend too long fantasising about your "future" when you've been on like 2 dates. Nothing is set in stone yet and you could end up being very disappointed when things don't work out as you imagined.
8. TRY NOT to OVERTHINK EVERYTHING
Overthinking is so easy... Why did he say that? Why did he put a kiss on that message and not this one? Is he trying to tell me he doesn't actually like me that much? The list of questions is endless, but the truth is that men aren't as complex as we might think and actually these little things you're thinking about probably don't mean a thing so try and be reasonable.
9. BE AWARE of HIS FAULTS
No one is perfect. Fact. Don't put a guy on a pedestal thinking he is literally the perfect guy. He might be your perfect match but like everyone he will have his faults so don't ignore them and don't give him the power of thinking he can do no wrong in your eyes because if he messes up later on you might get hurt.
10. BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS for a REASON
My friend says this to me all the time and it really comforts me actually. If things don't work out with a guy you really liked, don't lose hope...there might be someone even better waiting for you.
I think these rules are actually really positive and you may find that they'll make the dating game a lot easier!